Heard on the unit...

Today's installment, actually from yesterday, is mostly patient quotes. I would have had them up sooner but I was just too tired.

One of my patients is a retired high school math teacher. Fr. V. is also hard of hearing, so this makes conversations really interesting.

Me: "Father, I heard you were a teacher, what did you teach?"
Fr. V. "Idiots."
Me: "Weren't you a math teacher, Father."
Fr. V.: "Yes, I was. I only taught the idiots. The smart ones learned all by themselves."

Even funnier thing...one of his likely students (Mr. G.--he left on Tuesday) was about two doors away. Now I'll never know if Mr. G. fell into the smart ones or the idiots on his initial high school math classes.

Fr. V. also had some spiritual distress, once I got him thinking about tests. Neuropsych had sent one of their students to do an assessment on him and he could not hear her well. As a result, I had to call the neuropsychologist on his behalf to see if they'd let him retake his exam. It should be interesting.

"That night nurse really doesn't like her job, does she?"

Mr. R. mentioned this to me as I was assessing him. He told me this nurse makes him feel very much like an inconvenience and that he's just trouble. Sure, Mr. R. gets up at 0500 to watch the news and drink his coffee, so it's not as convenient as staying in bed. Now, I make sure he has his coffee in his room whenever I get on the unit. If he doesn't, I make him some. He's fallen twice since he came to us, and he's staying until he can get his new cervical decompression next week, so we have to keep him out of trouble.

This is a sore subject for me. I hate dissing my coworkers, but some patients are very observant, and now I know why some of them actually ask their docs if I can be their nurse while they are on our unit. I never actually say anything about the coworkers, so I just let the patients vent and get their feedback. Most are very positive.

More later...gotta warm up the car and go to work. Mr. R. probably needs his coffee by now!