Heard on the unit

Patients, some of our coworkers, and even the boss, can say the darnedest things.

Scenario 1 -Maybe he just likes me

Patients in our meeting room (where the big screen is) watching the Turkey Day football.

Me: "Look at all those guys in front of the TV asleep watching football. Too much Thanksgiving dinner."
Boss: "And are you going to say something stereotypical about that?"
Me: "No, I'll just keep it to myself."
Boss: (with glint in his eye)"I'm sure it's just tearing you up."
Me: "Of course, it is." (smirking in reply)

Replies you don't expect

Patient 1 in a double room is a big born-again Christian who grates on his neighbor's nerves (Patient 2).
Patient 1 is watching a Christmas movie. We talk about what Ralphie wants for Christmas, and what the patient wanted for Christmas.
Patient 2, exasperated by Patient 1 in general, replies, "How about an assault rifle, anyone?"

Fun surprises

Some of our patients spend a long time with us with very few calls. One patient of mine has had the opposite problem. "I get more calls now than when I was at home. One guy from my unit, who I haven't seen in years just called me. He told me he has my dog tags."

This particular branch of the service is famous for posting listings of members of particular units on the internet and they have lots of their own bulletin boards. Someone got his family info from an internet post and called a relative who passed along his hospital phone number.