Dear Coworker

Sometimes I hold my tongue, not to embarrass you, but to keep from getting prosecuted.

First of all, I eat "quickly" because while you're regaling the bosses at our business lunch and one-upping everyone with your stories, I'm eating. Plain and simple. You might just catch up if you stopped talking.

Second, it would also help if you actually left the table when your phone rings. Have your phone ring six times while we were eating is not acceptable. It shows that you really cannot be present with our boss (who has better reasons to answer his/her phone) and actually listen.

Constructive criticism is helpful if you choose to learn from it.

Quietly yours,

RehabRN