In the notes

Since I don't always see everyone in the Hotel in the SU, but I'm still on the team, I have to read the notes to stay current on all the patients we take care of. To do so, I skim the notes.

This was my favorite from one of our consults to audiology (who never tells their patients that they're really in the basement next door and half of them end up in my office...).

"Patient's bilateral ears full of cerumen. Please irrigate and re-consult this service, as testing cannot occur at this time."

Hello?! WT...? Nice. I know the NP who's in charge of ear wax removal, is going to love this one. I'll bet we're not going to send anyone to Ms. Audiology without those Debrox drops first!

Another favorite: we had  a patient who needs a urology service consult while he/she is an in-patient. Patient is leaving for the great Rocky Mountain state next week.

RN in charge of this clinic writes in the consult (for the secretary to schedule):

"Please schedule xx urology procedure at earliest date, as patient to discharge by 5/21."

When does the stellar secretary schedule? Consult read: "Patient scheduled at 0930 on 7/30/12 per request". (head plants firmly in desk)

Urology's idea of urgent, surely isn't mine or this patients,  either.

I only made it halfway through the patients before I had to get away....stay tuned.