I'm still a kid

When I think of that day 30 odd years ago. I was on my way to school. I knew my mother was dying of cancer, but I didn't realize that I wouldn't make it there before she did.

I came into my grandmother's house and all I heard were laments. My father was silent and hugged us. He let my brother and I see Mom before my uncle called his friends at work (who were the undertakers). My father was always the one who was there, when his mother and his wife died.

My grandma was a mess. My mother was her youngest child.

There are a lot of things that are a blur, but a lot of things I will never forget. I learned much later that I could spend all my time thinking about the horrible things a teenager could have to witness (the stretcher, the body bag, the death rattle), or I could choose to remember the things my mother left me.

Her happy disposition despite many trials. Her stubbornness and relentlessness to see things right. Her wavy hair that always curled when you wanted and sometimes, when you didn't. Her enjoyment of the little things in life, like the salami sandwiches from our town's Italian section. The jello (red and green) that Santa left us at Christmastime.

My mother also left me her faith. Her faith that we are all actors in our own story and a little divine intervention never hurts. Sometimes we need to help and be helped. Those traditions of perseverance were more helpful than I ever knew later in life.

So while my mom is no longer here to be celebrated, I look every day for the places where she left her mark on my life. And I see her every day. I put a photo of happy times on my refrigerator, so I remember that. She and Dad took us to get family photos. It was the last group family photo we would get.

So I can mourn this day, or I can live it as Mom would want me to do. My mother always wanted me to be a nurse, so I know somewhere in Heaven she smiles. Even with my detours and stubbornness, she got her wish.

It's nice to know...

We're not alone. Another parent from our daycare pulled their kid from there, for different reasons.

So, so, so happy Bubba's outta there. Now I'm just waiting for the bigwigs there to lose something.

Then it will really be a Merry Christmas in RehabLand. Cross your fingers and pray if you're so inclined, whatever your faith. We'll take it!

Stay tuned, kids. We're in for a wild ride, no matter what.

Got me thinking...

Another day at work and thankfully, not too many dilemmas.

Monday went by quickly and relatively painlessly for me and most of the unit. It wasn't so painless for some of our coworkers who were involved in an accident while parking their cars on our busy front thoroughfare. A lot of craziness ensued, and everyone's okay for now. We'll wait to see what happens.

Bubba feels sick, so I get to go into nurse mode at home. I see the oak trees in the yard are blooming. Makes me wonder if allergy season has finally claimed him as a victim this year.

I did some more certification studying and for a little break I ran into Kim at emergiblog's recent Don't tread on my conscience post. Oh, it made me think!

Yes, it is hard to blog about controversial subjects including this one. Did I think about it when I was looking at specialties in nursing school? You betcha. I would have serious issues if I were in anything remotely related to Kim's topic, and yes, I did turn down a position with a world-renowned surgeon just because it could potentially pose such problems. I have my own set of values, which I'd prefer to display in my work rather than to discuss directly with patients. Yes, Momma did tell me never to discuss politics and religion and I adhere to that with my patients and coworkers.

I often think about situations such as this recent one where a per diem nurse lost her job because she discussed one aspect of religion. Do I agree that she should have bounced that ball to the chaplain? Sure, but do we know if anyone was around to take the pass, let alone be present with the patient. Another incident in the UK got a nurse suspended in February.

Finally, I'm often disgusted that we can't agree to disagree and realize we live in a country of many faiths and traditions. Allowing a nurse to honor his/her faith does not mean he/she is shirking the work, it reminds us that nurses are people, not robots, with traditions, beliefs and feelings, just like the patients. If we denigrate the faith tradition (or lack thereof--if that's your choice) of a nurse, we, in turn, denigrate them, too.

Kim: keep lighting the fires and making us think.

Nuggets for April 13

No, I haven't forgotten these...just been a little busy. Here are a few I found recently while perusing the net in my rapidly disappearing spare time. Enjoy!

Out and about in the health world

DNA test outperforms pap smear (from www.nytimes.com)
I can count the number of female patients I see at Madison on one hand. This article discusses a new test that could eventually replace the infamous Pap. Prevention of this disease is a very good thing.

In cancer, a deeper faith (from www.nytimes.com)
I really enjoy the first-person accounts that appear in this section. This one, geared toward the Passover/Easter season, is quite memorable.

Uncovering the secrets of gray hair (from www.nytimes.com)
I don't cover mine, yet! I really enjoyed this article on how hair turns gray. As usual, they found out much of the information by accident--researching another topic.

A little more nursing-oriented

Are you feeling a little burned out and need some helpful hints to post on the back room bulletin board? Never fear, the folks at the Compassion Fatigue Project have the Eight Laws all ready in nice PDF format. Here's a description of what they're talking about from their web site:

The Eight Laws...

Here at the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project, we believe you can take control of your own well-being and create steps towards healing in your own life.

The following are 'Eight Laws' to help you create a healthier workplace for yourself, provide healthier care for others, promote healthier change in your life, and practice better self-care.

Just remember...if you don't take care of yourself, no one else will!

I found this tidbit about nurses at Hell on White Clogs: An open letter to every patient and their family. It made me think of a lot of things: patients, regular people and the good, old Press-Ganeys.

If only we had bosses like these

$80,000 for a year off? She'll take it
A law firm in NYC offers a third pay to associates to take off for one year. The not-so-bad catch: you won't be laid off if you choose this when you come back.

Finally

And just when you thought RehabRN gets all of her nuggets from NYC...I found this one via my ANA newsletter: Dean researching off-peak hour hospital death rate. It certainly made me look...since it seems like all of our problems happen in the off-hours.