Things not to do as a nurse, part LVIII

Here's another installment of the popular section on what not to do as a nurse. Listen up, new grads. This is NOT the way to get your 15 minutes of fame.

If you think it is, just remember, NCLEX is getting harder. Here in RehabLand, the pass rate went down, but luckily, the licensing folks are thrilled we are still above the national average pass rate.

Here are a few things that got nurses in RehabLand in trouble lately. Just remember, don't try these at home (or work, either) if you plan on keeping that bright, shiny license.

1. If you're supposed to monitor someone in the ICU, monitor them.

Don't paint your nails, don't go on Facebook, don't blow off the newer nurse you're working with who points out the fact that your patient now has a heart rate of 160 and maybe you should call the doc for orders. Also, when said heart rate goes to 200, don't tell everyone that "I had no idea."

Doesn't work. End of story.

2. If you plead guilty to felony theft, you may lose your license.

Another pretty simple example.

3. Falling in love with a felon could get you in trouble.

No, it's not related to #2, but it could be. Jailhouse Nurse falls for an inmate she's caring for. She goes out and gets him a handcuff key and a gun.  To add to the fun, she smokes some marijuana (a friend brought it in from a legal state) and gets caught doing that while with said inmate/felon. Boundary violations are not a good thing.

4. Oxygen saturation is important for everything.

Remember your ABCs: Airway Breathing Circulation. Yes, those are important. Failing to notice low oxygen sats and to do something about it, can get you into licensure trouble.

5. When you are a private duty nurse, you have to be there (both physically and mentally).

Two examples: one nurse decided to run "personal errands" for almost two hours while caring for her private duty patient, who had hourly vital signs. She also "forgot" to chart that "errand."

Another private duty nurse decided to huff some Dust-Off while her patient's mother fell asleep. The mom found the nurse passed out in the living room on the couch, and when aroused he/she was in no state to work.

6. Why you don't want to become Walgreens/CVS/insert favorite drug store here.

This was pretty interesting. Two nurses were  cited related to "collecting medications to give to poor/uninsured patients" Surprisingly, my license does not say MD or registered pharmacist, either.
Some medications just should not be shared (one RN took unused vials to reuse).

7. Don't bring medical records home.

Ever. No matter how behind you are at work. Can you say HIPAA? This RN took home records that affected a patient's care. Very ugly.

And finally...

8. Don't spank your patients.

Even if they are kids who wriggle around and smack you on the nose while doing their dressing.

That is all. Stay tuned for more in our next installment.

Things not to do as a nurse

Yes, I got my quarterly newsletter from RehabLand Board of Nursing, and yes, they do have a fine list of things not to do if you want to keep your license to practice.

Some of them were (are) frankly pretty scary, and I only wonder how long they went on before they were reported.

 1. Patient in wheelchair wants to go to bed (common Hotel scenario) and comes to nurses station.

Normal nurse: talks to the patient and then assists the patient to bed.
Our nurse: pushes patient forcibly out of the nurses' station and give a Haldol shot where the needle gets stuck in the patient. License suspended.

2. Nurse gets a tax return and 'forgets' to pay the state taxes.

Normal nurse: gets the taxes paid.
Our nurse: doesn't bother, so license is suspended.

3. Nurse is asked yes or no questions re: felony history.

Normal nurse: knows better than to do that. Nurses are one of the most trusted health professionals for a reason.
Our nurse: just fibs, gets found out, and gets license suspended

4. Nurse takes patient into a video monitored room in ER and examines his "groin pain"

Normal nurse: takes information and completes assessment.
Our nurse: fondles, kisses the patient, compliments his eyes and shares personal details. After this performance, our nurse is put on probation for two years.

And finally, for another technology related story:

5. Nurse remotely monitors patients as part of his/her job.

Normal nurse: does work, makes phone calls to patients, providers and case managers.
Our nurse: doesn't do any of those things for over a month and fabricates documentation,and gets license suspended.