Dear Surgeon

When you come on the floor, could you actually talk? Grunting and pointing are things Bubba did when he was three years old. Besides, you're not in the OR with a mask on any more. It scares the patients. They think you never smile. (BTW I win bets when you do.)

And finally, please, please, please, do not poke around on folks who have pressure ulcers near bones.
I do not like finding out a patient is in a pool of blood when I turn him/her for the other provider to see his/her wounds because you were just poking around to see what would happen. (Just ask me--I've seen exsanguination like this before.) Dr. X  can't see anything with all the blood and I have to get our people to get your people, and then you can't take off on time to go eat your lunch on the veranda with your wife.

It is not fun to volume deplete someone here at the Hotel when getting blood products here is a major, hours long ordeal. We don't have an ICU, so if you screw up, we call 911 and pray.

Thanking you in advance (and I promise I won't trip you in the hallway),

Sincerely not,

RehabRN