RIP Leslie Nielsen

Lt. Frank Drebin (from the Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear)
Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long! You're part of a dying breed, Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh sure, maybe not as much as landing on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts!

Oh, it was a crazy sort of day today. Frank Drebin, we could have used your logic to figure out why our unit had no electric all day when our neighboring unit across the way had lights for all those meetings I could see from the window.

And finally...
Lt. Frank Drebin:  Looks like the cows have come home to roost. 

More to come...stay tuned.

Too ironic

Scenario 1 - Pills, pins and needles.

Today was an interesting day. The specialists are busy at the Hotel and you would have thought it was a full moon.

One patient called into the SU stating, "I need more pain meds and to fix my record. I am not a drug seeker." Also, the patient mentioned that he/she had a numb leg for the entire weekend ("all pins and needles"), telling me how many falls, etc., and how terrible it was, so couldn't we just fill the script.

I mentioned to said patient that it might be prudent to go straight to the ER. "Naw, I can't do that, my leg is numb."

"So how will you get to the drug store to get your script?" I ask.

"Aw," says patient, "I'll just get a ride. Or I'll wait until my appointment tomorrow up at Washington (our main hospital)"

Well, HELLOOO in there! If you can get a ride, you surely can get to the ER, can't you? What made you  wait three whole days to call?


Scenario 2 - My nurse is with me today

We had a couple of patients lately in the sister unit who came in with family members. We don't allow them in the room for procedures, but we allow them to talk to the doc and consent and ask as many questions as they desire.

One patient came in with his healthcare professional sibling (supposedly a nurse--no idea what kind). Patient stated in his/her last consult that they had issues and needed x,y,z intervention, all of which we do not do here. Patient still wanted to come. This seemed odd, but we do lots of odd stuff here.

Patient arrives at appointment happy and with sibling and all looks good, except patient has some doubts. This is where Dr. X shines. Dr. X was an internist in another life and he loves talking to people. If he wouldn't have been a doc he probably could have been a wonderful minister. He's folksy and honest and people just genuinely like to talk to him.

Doc excuses me and the trainer from the room and he and his resident talk to this patient and sibling. While we were away, sibling argued with Dr. X and made it sound like Dr. X was the world's biggest jerk. Dr. X. was very exasperated. Patient and sibling actually stormed off out of the room.

Weird thing...same patient called back breathlessly and wanted to talk to us while we were restocking. When I called him/her back, I got voice mail.

To be continued....more to come.

Ironies, part two

First, you second-guess if you did the right thing for the patient that died. Did I miss some signs they had or were there so many problems which could mask another, that I couldn't keep them straight? You find out that you weren't the only nurse to wonder...and maybe the MDs are pissed because they couldn't see any signs, either.

Next, your boss calls you up to ask what the acronym SCD stands for. Lucky me, I got to answer the phone. And no, I didn't even look it up first.

After trivia, you get the assignment to take your patient to an appointment and are looked at as a rare oddity--an RN as escort. Your boss could have told you this yesterday when you asked who was going for one of the other staff, but no, the boss wanted to save that for you. What's more fun than rushing around gathering things for your trip at the very last minute?

Of course, accompanying this patient was a little like going as a star's attendant. Everyone there (I'm not kidding) knew his name. You'd swear I was with Norm from Cheers.

Finally, the weather was beautiful and I was trapped inside for a while, so I took the earliest opportunity to walk two blocks just to enjoy it....and all the ironies of the day.

Ironies

I was driving down the road the other day and saw this license plate on a BMW:

BM-ING

Oh, the rehab nurse in me was just laughing out loud...if this man only knew how this would be received on my unit. Many punny comments would be exchanged and probably no one would want to ride in that car!

I'm coming up on my anniversary as a nurse and I keep thinking about some of the things that have happened to me since I've become a nurse.

1. I'm not too afraid of bodily fluids, but vomit gets me. Everything else--nasty, draining wounds, poop, etc., rarely faze me. It's that rascally vomit that is my Kryptonite. I go to that happy place really quickly when people vomit, or I'd be going to Emesisland with them!

2. I've learned to like gloves. It never bothered me if a foodservice person wasn't wearing gloves before, but it really does now.

3. I like teaching. In rehab nursing, we do a lot of this, and I've developed my own internal scripts, depending on the subject. One of these days, we ought to have a Rehab Nurse Learning Channel, tape our delivery of the educational topics and let patients watch on a patient channel, just like public access on cable.

4. I'm now fluent in several types of wheelchair drive systems. At least, I don't crash as much as I used to when taking them to the charging station. (Maintenance frowns on holes in the walls caused by staff).

5. I've always thought I was pretty resourceful, but I'm learning even more tricks. One of my recent patients, a quad with shoulder mobility, figured out how to use his rolled up washcloth (for his hand) to scratch his nose. It was great, but it kept falling out, so I used Kerlix and tape to attach it to his hand without gumming him all up. It worked great. At least it keeps him occupied enough, so he doesn't bug us ringing the call light to come scratch his nose!