I feel so loved...

The latest installment of Heard on the unit...

"So and so forgot to do all my laundry." Mr. Z.
Well, Mr. Z., So and so is a new nurse, so you need to help train him/her by telling them what you need.

It really is a crisis to deprive an Irishman of his green clothes on this, St. Patty's Day...thankfully, the Hotel has green PJs for our guests. Problem solved.

"I missed you this weekend." Groovy New Nurse #1
GNN#1 missed me because he/she got stuck with the Slug, who probably spent the weekend doing one or all of the following things: 1) talking on the phone, 2) goofing off on Facebook the whole shift, or 3) doing absolutely nothing.

Yes, dear, it does suck to work with the Slug and everybody else who thinks he/she "is a great person, especially at parties." Well, kids, this ain't no party all the time...

"I don't want one of those Port-a-Cath things. They kill people." Mr. Y.
You'd think they would educate the patient on his/her access possibilities, right? Nope. We got to be the lucky stiffs to talk about what exactly a port was and how it will be used.

"Can I sit in the shower and let the water run over my head while you make my bed?" Mr. X.
Mr. X hasn't had a shower in a very long time, so he was happy to oblige while I got things ready for him.

Anything to make you happy....more later