Everybody's got one...

My dad, who was prone to colorful language for some reason or another, used to have a saying, "Opinions are like a*&holes, everybody's got one." I'm realizing as a rehab nurse that it's not just opinions that everyone has...it's the nosy patient.

You know him/her if you're in a situation where you care for patients for a longer term than your regular acute hospital stay. He/she's the patient who's always wanting to know the "dirt" on the unit and will ask everybody stuff about everyone else.

This patient, if mobile, likes to hang out where the nurses congregate, especially at the nurses' station. Said patient will listen to your every word and then repeat it all over the place. This same patient will also look at your computer screen and printouts whenever he/she gets the chance. Last night, our guy--let's call him Nosy-- was watching everything. He was watching me write notes (I spent a lot of time minimizing my screen) and on my break, he kept trying to read my e-mail. What joy!

So how do you deal with this kind of patient? Our guy Nosy isn't really mean, but he is extremely bored. First, get him something to do. If he's busy, he's not going to have time to talk to you. Our Nosy likes to visit other patients in their rooms and talk, so we let him do it, if the patients agree and it doesn't interfere with any other regularly scheduled business. Nosy always wants to know why people are with us, so we tell Nosy, "Ask him/her. If they want to tell you, they'll tell you." This is one instance where I like HIPAA...it can be used to keep the nosy patients out of your hair sometimes.

Second, if keeping him busy isn't enough, tell Nosy the truth. Here's what we do a lot: "Nosy, I think you're great, but I have work to do here with Nurse X. We have to talk about our work and we can't share that with you. If you go and come back in about xx minutes, we'll be happy to chat with you later."

Finally, if that doesn't work, take your chat with Nurse X elsewhere. We have a staff lounge that is off-limits to patients, so when all else fails, we have to go there. Excuse yourself and disappear.