Aw, it's been forever since I've had enough goodies for this segment! But when patients speak, sometimes we just bite our tongues and run as fast as we can to our lunch break, so we can share with the rest of the folks on the unit and with the audience at home.
Situation 1
RN is educating patient about the proper way to use an incentive spirometer. After demonstrating proper technique, patient says, "Oh, that's just like what I do at home with my bong." RN listens as patient describes how marijuana "relaxes my legs so I can get into my chair."
Sorry, remember that non-smoking thing you signed to come here for rehab? Yep, it applies to Mary Jane, too.
Situation 2
RN is talking to patient re: helping himself (He's a lower level thoracic paraplegic, so he can do it) by dressing and turning himself. "Oh, I'm not going to do that (turning) at home. I'll just wake her up." (implying whatever woman happens to be in his bed.)
Nice. My reply, "So since Babe #1 is not here, could you just move the pillows and turn yourself, please?"
Situation 3
From patient who is not really observant about following his intermittent catheterization rules or fluid restrictions.
"Where's my nurse? I missed my appointment." says Mr. Drinks-A-Lot.
"What appointment?" I asked.
"My catheter appointment. I've got a headache."
"Yes," I replied, "and you realize this is a sign of dysreflexia, correct?"
Patient shakes head.
If only Tom and Ray were here to do this...more to come...eventually!
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