I love M and Em, two of our RNs who work weekends. They both have a hilarious sense of humor. M works AM 12 hour shifts and Em works the PM ones. M came from a gero unit, and Em came to the Hotel from a cardiac ICU at an academic medical center where they do groundbreaking stuff, including chilling folks after heart attacks.
So this is a story M told me about what happened recently when she answered a call light for Mr. X., one of our regulars.
M: Good morning can I help you your call light is on?
Patient X: Yeah how the hell do I check out of this swanky hotel!!
M: As soon as you are able to walk out of here. (Patient is paralyzed and has been for many years)
Patient X: Hell, if I could have done that I would have stiffed this bill long ago.
Yes, just another day at the Hotel. Sometimes, I miss working the weekends, but not always.
Stay tuned!
Showing posts with label call light. Show all posts
Showing posts with label call light. Show all posts
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Juxtapositions
A wild night on the floor recently at the Hotel:
One of my patients (aka RR for Ring-Ring) rings the light constantly. He "acts" upset that I'm his nurse (not really--just for show). He gets his heart set on delivery food that was turned away once, and finally, when he's totally dejected and swears it'll never show up...in walks the delivery guy. DG gets a huge tip and RR gets the meal he's been dreaming about.
Even with RR, I'm able to work on homework, in between rounds, look up an article, write a review and study for my exam.
And on the way home, while throwing my book bag in the front seat, I pull a muscle in my back (yes, that book really is heavy, even if it's small!). Despite hot shower, massage and an Aleve, it's still sore.
So yours truly takes out the goodies for the open book test which ends on Sunday at midnight. And despite the pain, I get an A. Thank you P., my class partner, for encouraging me to take my time.
It was easy...the back still hurts. I'd be awake anyway tending it. Why not take a test at the same time?
More later....
One of my patients (aka RR for Ring-Ring) rings the light constantly. He "acts" upset that I'm his nurse (not really--just for show). He gets his heart set on delivery food that was turned away once, and finally, when he's totally dejected and swears it'll never show up...in walks the delivery guy. DG gets a huge tip and RR gets the meal he's been dreaming about.
Even with RR, I'm able to work on homework, in between rounds, look up an article, write a review and study for my exam.
And on the way home, while throwing my book bag in the front seat, I pull a muscle in my back (yes, that book really is heavy, even if it's small!). Despite hot shower, massage and an Aleve, it's still sore.
So yours truly takes out the goodies for the open book test which ends on Sunday at midnight. And despite the pain, I get an A. Thank you P., my class partner, for encouraging me to take my time.
It was easy...the back still hurts. I'd be awake anyway tending it. Why not take a test at the same time?
More later....
Monday, September 28, 2009
Some things change...
And some stay the same.
The unit was pretty much same old, same old last night. Nothing particularly new and exciting.
1. The Slug is still the Slug and wouldn't know his/her backside from a hole in the ground (Dad's favorite saying...only a little spiced up!). He/she obviously didn't look out the window before swearing, "Oh, all these patients are crazy because it's a full moon." Not really, but perhaps on whatever planet he/she's on, it is!
2. Ringing the call light at the change of shift is becoming commonplace whenever I work evenings. One patient decided he needed help in less than the five minutes it would take the ongoing shift to get him situated. So what does he do? He says, "I think I'm having a heart attack. My left arm feels funny." Roommate was oblivious to all the commotion and snoring away.
Here goes the fire drill. Get vitals, get him repositioned, get out the EKG machine and call the doc on call. Nice. Thankfully, the evening charge nurse and I went down with some of the night shifters and got him all situated until the doc arrived. No other classic signs and a "I thought I'd say that so someone would come down here right away." almost merited the famous Dope Slap from the night charge nurse.
3. And finally, some people are still on evening bowel routines on our unit. Some are scarier than others. One of my patients had one which reminded me of a horror movie about tapeworms.
That is all...stay tuned for more excitement.
The unit was pretty much same old, same old last night. Nothing particularly new and exciting.
1. The Slug is still the Slug and wouldn't know his/her backside from a hole in the ground (Dad's favorite saying...only a little spiced up!). He/she obviously didn't look out the window before swearing, "Oh, all these patients are crazy because it's a full moon." Not really, but perhaps on whatever planet he/she's on, it is!
2. Ringing the call light at the change of shift is becoming commonplace whenever I work evenings. One patient decided he needed help in less than the five minutes it would take the ongoing shift to get him situated. So what does he do? He says, "I think I'm having a heart attack. My left arm feels funny." Roommate was oblivious to all the commotion and snoring away.
Here goes the fire drill. Get vitals, get him repositioned, get out the EKG machine and call the doc on call. Nice. Thankfully, the evening charge nurse and I went down with some of the night shifters and got him all situated until the doc arrived. No other classic signs and a "I thought I'd say that so someone would come down here right away." almost merited the famous Dope Slap from the night charge nurse.
3. And finally, some people are still on evening bowel routines on our unit. Some are scarier than others. One of my patients had one which reminded me of a horror movie about tapeworms.
That is all...stay tuned for more excitement.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Happy Boxing Day
Believe it or not, it's a holiday here in the US if you work for the VA. It's not really Boxing Day per se, but W declared it a federal holiday, so most federal workers could get an extra day off. I was at work, but I'll get holiday pay...hooray!
Today was not too terrible. I had the assignment I've had the last three days, so it's been manageable. Get the one guy who gets up up and at 'em right away, so he's happy, then take care of the other two.
For the most part, the other two are very nice, although, the quad is very demanding. He's on the phone constantly, but doesn't want an ECU (no private calls that way). He really needs a Bluetooth with a soft touch button he could use with his one working arm, but that's way beyond what we have at Madison. Sometimes he won't even use the soft touch, much to my chagrin (and it's pretty darned unsafe, too!)
Nevertheless, Oscar and Felix (they really are odd but get along) are doing reasonably well. Felix is in pain a lot, but we medicate him before dressing changes and with his new low-airloss bed with the slick sheet, he can turn a lot easier without him screaming out in pain every time we turn him. He had more pain and problems with his "good" leg today, so hopefully, that is better this weekend. He is a trainwreck in terms of dressings, and he's got grounds for a lawsuit against the place he came from in another state. Thankfully, he is not mean to us (he is upset) but he is thrilled he's at Madison, since we should get him healed up well, barring no other issues.
Oscar has been with us many times. He likes to leave AMA when it suits him. He was here when I started, but left before summer. He's back again, with another suspected caregiver-inflicted wound. It's a doozy and the other hospital tried treating it with a WoundVAC. If only they'd read the instructions about using one with necrotic tissue....arrgh! The docs were aghast when they saw that and away it went as soon as he arrived. We're treating it with the old reliable Santyl moist/dry dressings BID until Dr. Plastic has a look at it after the holidays. Thankfully, it's starting to look better.
'Tis the season for game playing...and I don't just mean with the new games sets that a few families dropped off on the unit yesterday for Christmas, but with the patients, too. We've been having a lot of different varieties.
One is the "Oh, I can't get up to go to therapy" game. This is one of our active rehabbers who's playing this one. He is such a pervert (wiggles his tongue around suggestively when he's getting his intermittent cath) and I really, really wanted to kill him the other night, because he was being such a jerk.
The other game said jerk was playing was "Divide and conquer". Some of our patients try to do this by using the old standby of "no one of this race (color, uniform, you name it) will take care of me right because I'm white/black/Marine/Army/Navy/etc., etc." Said jerk had one of our nurses in tears on my last stretch of evenings. I was really pissed off.
What did he win for that? A smackdown from the neuropsychiatrists. If I would have had one on call, I'd have had them smack him at 2200 while he was up to all his shenaningans, but he had to wait until the next day. They're all off on vacation right now, so they won't harass him until next week. If he were in private rehab, his derriere would be kissing the curb right now since most of them have the "no therapy, no stay" rule. If you decline to go to therapy, you get to leave. Not us, we serve the veterans, and the RPIAs (royal pains in the a*&) really push it sometimes.
Nevertheless, I am happy I survived my holidays at Madison. Now, I'm going to get ready for a holiday party...more to come.
Today was not too terrible. I had the assignment I've had the last three days, so it's been manageable. Get the one guy who gets up up and at 'em right away, so he's happy, then take care of the other two.
For the most part, the other two are very nice, although, the quad is very demanding. He's on the phone constantly, but doesn't want an ECU (no private calls that way). He really needs a Bluetooth with a soft touch button he could use with his one working arm, but that's way beyond what we have at Madison. Sometimes he won't even use the soft touch, much to my chagrin (and it's pretty darned unsafe, too!)
Nevertheless, Oscar and Felix (they really are odd but get along) are doing reasonably well. Felix is in pain a lot, but we medicate him before dressing changes and with his new low-airloss bed with the slick sheet, he can turn a lot easier without him screaming out in pain every time we turn him. He had more pain and problems with his "good" leg today, so hopefully, that is better this weekend. He is a trainwreck in terms of dressings, and he's got grounds for a lawsuit against the place he came from in another state. Thankfully, he is not mean to us (he is upset) but he is thrilled he's at Madison, since we should get him healed up well, barring no other issues.
Oscar has been with us many times. He likes to leave AMA when it suits him. He was here when I started, but left before summer. He's back again, with another suspected caregiver-inflicted wound. It's a doozy and the other hospital tried treating it with a WoundVAC. If only they'd read the instructions about using one with necrotic tissue....arrgh! The docs were aghast when they saw that and away it went as soon as he arrived. We're treating it with the old reliable Santyl moist/dry dressings BID until Dr. Plastic has a look at it after the holidays. Thankfully, it's starting to look better.
'Tis the season for game playing...and I don't just mean with the new games sets that a few families dropped off on the unit yesterday for Christmas, but with the patients, too. We've been having a lot of different varieties.
One is the "Oh, I can't get up to go to therapy" game. This is one of our active rehabbers who's playing this one. He is such a pervert (wiggles his tongue around suggestively when he's getting his intermittent cath) and I really, really wanted to kill him the other night, because he was being such a jerk.
The other game said jerk was playing was "Divide and conquer". Some of our patients try to do this by using the old standby of "no one of this race (color, uniform, you name it) will take care of me right because I'm white/black/Marine/Army/Navy/etc., etc." Said jerk had one of our nurses in tears on my last stretch of evenings. I was really pissed off.
What did he win for that? A smackdown from the neuropsychiatrists. If I would have had one on call, I'd have had them smack him at 2200 while he was up to all his shenaningans, but he had to wait until the next day. They're all off on vacation right now, so they won't harass him until next week. If he were in private rehab, his derriere would be kissing the curb right now since most of them have the "no therapy, no stay" rule. If you decline to go to therapy, you get to leave. Not us, we serve the veterans, and the RPIAs (royal pains in the a*&) really push it sometimes.
Nevertheless, I am happy I survived my holidays at Madison. Now, I'm going to get ready for a holiday party...more to come.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sleepy Sunday
Try as I might, I just couldn't go back to sleep this morning. It probably has to do with waking up once and the old sleep button just does not re-engage for me....arrgh!
Last night was busy. I had three patients, two of whom were the same as the night before and two of the three were out on pass at dinnertime, which was nice. I also inherited the med wagon up in the front from J. when she left her 12 hour shift at 2000.
It's only one med run (around 2200) so what should be so hard? The answer: a whole lot of needy patients. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. People would not ask for stuff in advance, they all waited until I got to the room. I doubled back and got everything filled reasonably quickly, but I was still pushing pills at 2355, which really sucks. I just figured I get stuff done before the night shift came on to do their turns.
M. the charge was off last night and P. took over. That team has the neediest patient on the floor--Mr. B. He rang the light over and over and over. Poor P. was never out of the room for more than 5 minutes and the light would go on. Mr. B. is typical of many post-ICU patients: he thinks we only have 1-2 patients and are waiting outside his room for him to call. No dice. Most of the time, we have people assigned to us all over the place on the unit and we are trying to get them turned, bowel routines done, fluffed and buffed and ready for bed all at the same time. Hopefully, he'll get a little more relaxed, but so far, it's not happening. We shall see...
My people were pretty good for the most part and I got everything done by midnight. It was pushing it, though. I'm going to work with a few other things tonight, so hopefully, things will go more smoothly.
More later...
Last night was busy. I had three patients, two of whom were the same as the night before and two of the three were out on pass at dinnertime, which was nice. I also inherited the med wagon up in the front from J. when she left her 12 hour shift at 2000.
It's only one med run (around 2200) so what should be so hard? The answer: a whole lot of needy patients. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. People would not ask for stuff in advance, they all waited until I got to the room. I doubled back and got everything filled reasonably quickly, but I was still pushing pills at 2355, which really sucks. I just figured I get stuff done before the night shift came on to do their turns.
M. the charge was off last night and P. took over. That team has the neediest patient on the floor--Mr. B. He rang the light over and over and over. Poor P. was never out of the room for more than 5 minutes and the light would go on. Mr. B. is typical of many post-ICU patients: he thinks we only have 1-2 patients and are waiting outside his room for him to call. No dice. Most of the time, we have people assigned to us all over the place on the unit and we are trying to get them turned, bowel routines done, fluffed and buffed and ready for bed all at the same time. Hopefully, he'll get a little more relaxed, but so far, it's not happening. We shall see...
My people were pretty good for the most part and I got everything done by midnight. It was pushing it, though. I'm going to work with a few other things tonight, so hopefully, things will go more smoothly.
More later...
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