How to perturb your coworkers, inaugural edition

Yes, this list will get long I'm certain, but here are a few things to make people really contemplate revenge.

1. Don't want to come into work? Call in tired. As in, "I'm just too tired to come in."
 NOTE: this is not a nurse who worked a double, but a cough, cough, provider who can't handle an eight hour work day...or children...or life.

Why no one's called the EAP for said MD is beyond me.

2. Wait for someone to leave, become the charge nurse, then reassign all the patients to the nurse with the least seniority. Can you say a$$H0l3? Why? Because said charge nurse can. (Thank goodness he/she will NEVER be my boss!)


3. Just be a general smarta$$. Don't have time for that! 

Things I'd really like to say

To the hyperspazz out-of-wedlock pregnant idiot I work with:
"Hello, getting psycho just because it's the end of the shift isn't going to help anything when I ask you to do something for your patient. You're not the only one who's busy."

To the two people who called in "sick" today on a beautiful, spring, first day of baseball kind of day:
"You two are jerks. Karma's a bitch. I can't wait for it to bite you in the arse."

To the two ambulance drivers who took my patient to an out-of-network appointment and waited for him when his procedure was delayed:
"Yes, I know I thanked you, but I wish I could give you a bonus. Mikey really did like you guys."

To the legislators who are holding up the passage of the Federal budget:
"I don't care who you are. If you want me to come to work, you'd better pay me. And if I don't get paid, you and every last one of your staff, aides, etc., shouldn't either. You people are losers. F*&ing with nurses (and the ancillary employees we need around to do our jobs)  is not the way to solve problems. I just might mail a bowel program scented letter to you."