What happens when...

A patient comes up missing in your hospital? Do you call security? Do you knock on the door of the bathrooms or your rehab training room? Even at the Hotel, you're not supposed to lose patients.

No, you just complain about said patient because he/she never came out of the room. My office mate told me this story recently.

"Hmm." I told him/her. "I heard a story on the radio and I figured Patient R was discharged."

"What?" he/she says.

"Patient R was interviewed by a reporter at his/her house. Apparently, some nice neighbors did some stuff for him/her and they ended up on the 'Feel good news' segment on RehabLand's WXYZ's news."

Too bad no one had that channel turned on at the Hotel. It got lots of airplay recently. Must have been a slow news day.

Yesterday, I saw Patient R come back with the key to the training room. He/she apologized.

I just smiled.

Never a dull moment. Stay tuned for more interesting returns.

What a wonderful Monday

If you call getting prepped for the upcoming full moon wonderful. Sure!

My day in a nutshell:

1. Go to do your first rounds and they're looking for Dr. X. I go to the clinic Dr. X is usually in, and they say, no, Dr. X is off today.

2. Get on the elevator to go to your next part of rounds (your unit) and Dr. X. sends me a text saying "I'm here, where's the patient."

3. Call the cavalry, explain Dr. X. really is here now, so go find the patient. Cavalry is successful.

4. Run down several flights of stairs, find Dr. X and then see the patient coming in. Whew!

5. Return back to the ranch to figure out what is going on with a pending problem. No one is around. Finally get answers after two text messages and three phone calls. Problem not resolved until tomorrow.

6. Find out person you have worked with for five years is leaving her current job.

7. Find out people are retiring in droves due to pressure, illness and just plain ready. Sad on some, not on others.

8. Try to fix a patient's problem, but the help for that is not working today.

There were some good things, though.

1. The day was beautiful.

2. I went home for lunch and made a BLT. It was good, even though I set off the smoke detector.

3. I saw an incredible Buckeye butterfly today. It stopped long enough for me to snap a photo and send to my dear husband Dahey who collected butterflies as a child.

4. My friend's husband is getting stronger. He will also be getting a longer course of treatment. Neuro wanted five more doses, nephro wanted no more. They decided to meet (almost) in the middle: two.

Sure beats watching a neurologist and a nephrologist duke it out in his room.

I'm resting up hoping tomorrow is even better. Stay tuned.

The missing piece

Dear Social Studies Teacher:

I'm so glad I spent a lot of time dealing with this country in my other life. I've been there several times and visited just about every provincial capital. I can tell you all sorts of things and can answer 90% of the questions on this assignment with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back.

However there is no way I can help Bubba identify weather patterns on Map B and C if said maps are not included with the rest of the worksheets.

I may have a pretty good memory for trivia, but no idea on weather maps.

Please send them home and Bubba will complete them tomorrow.

Sincerely yours,

RehabRN
Bubba's personal secretary (aka Mom)

Failure

There is no failure except in no longer trying.  ~Elbert Hubbard

Lots of failure recently in the lives of our folks at the Hotel. Traveling partner and I have been dealing with the dismissal of our request by shaking the money trees. The word is out and we're getting positive feedback, but all we can do is wait, as the clock ticks.  If we don't get a response soon enough, we'll go to Plan B, which may or may not work. All in all, in the end, we'll get what we want: a trip out of town, a presentation at an industry conference, and billing on the program.

One of our coworkers has to keep trying methods to find out what is wrong with him/her to see if the musculoskeletal issues are work-related. Gotta fail a lot of treatments before you get disability.

Another story in our local newspaper involves failure to rescue. The unit is abuzz because we know the nurse involved. While he can't talk about it, everyone's playing armchair quarterback.  It's a sad case for all parties, especially considering someone died. 

We had a good failure today, if there is one. The bigwigs who were supposed to tour the unit never showed up. At least, the floors were shiny, the halls were clear and all the isolation carts full of gowns for one brief moment.

Let's just hope there's no imminent inspection to fail if the clutter comes back! 

More later...