How to perturb patients

These are just a few things I've picked up here in the SU.

1. Leave them in the waiting area forever. Yes, yo-yo unit secretary, once they're checked in,  you do need to call me or get me so I get them moving. I do have a lot more to do than read my e-mails and paint my nails (caught said secretary at that the other day).

2. Don't give them xx med. Oh, I told Dr. P. we need a sign outside that says, "If you want any of these, go away." and list Vicodin, Oxycontin, and every other short-acting opioid, and abusable drug on that list.

My favorite patient today had a pain level of 10/10, told me he really needed morphine and only morphine, since methadone, "just dehydrated me." then danced down the hall once his session was over at the chiropractor next door. Hmm....

3. I don't do this one, but Dr. P. gets the pleasure of sending out the "since you skipped your scheduled appointment, you violated your opioid agreement, so we're cutting you off." This usually means I get to schedule them for an "appointment" (with the good ol' urine drug screen) and they get a follow-up. Some people think the agreement isn't enforceable. Think again, kiddies.

4. Our secretary contributes to this one yet again...improper scheduling or omissions, or my personal favorite, requesting a time on one day, then scheduling patients on another day. On top of it, she can be rude. One of these days, I'll straighten it all out.


So glad this week is over! Enjoy your weekend, wherever you are.

A week to remember

It's been a different sort of life working in the SU and in a way, I'm grateful. For the most part, it's quiet and reasonably paced. This past week, however, has been crazy.

The ineptitude of our unit secretary is coming out in the form of the MD's schedule. I've found errors and have been working to correct them, but not much has been done, since the replacement isn't much better. They just do not comprehend how to take care of patients and keep a day moving. It is a whole lot of non-nursing work, done by nursing staff. So when I complain to my boss, the answer is to talk to the administrative head, who manages the  secretaries assigned to each unit.  Fun.

Finally, to top it all off, the nurse manager told us she's leaving next month for another unit in the complex. She's been in our area for her entire career. It will certainly be a change. The troops at the Hotel were stunned today. "Who will lead us?" they cried. Not a single volunteer from the old timers, either. It will be an interesting time. Thank goodness no one's asking me. I would need to have that last MegaMillions salary to take a nurse management job at the Hotel with our motley crew!

May have to get my walking boots on once this assignment in the SU is complete. I see bedlam coming...more so than usual.

Stay tuned...exciting times are coming up around the bend.