How to perturb patients

These are just a few things I've picked up here in the SU.

1. Leave them in the waiting area forever. Yes, yo-yo unit secretary, once they're checked in,  you do need to call me or get me so I get them moving. I do have a lot more to do than read my e-mails and paint my nails (caught said secretary at that the other day).

2. Don't give them xx med. Oh, I told Dr. P. we need a sign outside that says, "If you want any of these, go away." and list Vicodin, Oxycontin, and every other short-acting opioid, and abusable drug on that list.

My favorite patient today had a pain level of 10/10, told me he really needed morphine and only morphine, since methadone, "just dehydrated me." then danced down the hall once his session was over at the chiropractor next door. Hmm....

3. I don't do this one, but Dr. P. gets the pleasure of sending out the "since you skipped your scheduled appointment, you violated your opioid agreement, so we're cutting you off." This usually means I get to schedule them for an "appointment" (with the good ol' urine drug screen) and they get a follow-up. Some people think the agreement isn't enforceable. Think again, kiddies.

4. Our secretary contributes to this one yet again...improper scheduling or omissions, or my personal favorite, requesting a time on one day, then scheduling patients on another day. On top of it, she can be rude. One of these days, I'll straighten it all out.


So glad this week is over! Enjoy your weekend, wherever you are.

Yes, I work for an idiot

Signs that you may work for an idiot:

1. No matter how many times you tell him/her that you did something they ask if you did it. (I even sent e-mails for a paper trail)

2. You show the boss the product he/she was looking for and they request changes, saying, "Well, my boss won't take it if it's not black/white or navy/white with yellow titles."  His/her boss must be an opthamologist.

Don't worry about content, just contrast. Okay....

3. Your boss isn't sure about a presentation you've sweated blood over for months because he/she thinks too many nurses might show up.

Hmm...the nurses were invited...remember? And I just happen to be ONE of those nurses!

More to come...