Deep thoughts

I really loved Jack Handey on Saturday Night Live. Some things they mentioned on that segment of the show were delightfully sarcastic.

While some of you might say the same thing about two things I'll address below, I'm going to say them. Because someone needs to mention them. Because my patients mention them.

So sit down and listen, please.

First, I enjoy getting my regular copy of the American Journal of Nursing every month. Since I subscribe to the newsletter, too, I also get a copy of the electronic table of contents. I saw this listed in the TOC and just about blew a gasket. Why you ask?

Because we have a whole lot more idiots, or shall we say "free spirits" out in the world who are so nervous they have to make fun of things they don't like or understand. Since I am not allowed to discuss politics in my home, I won't even discuss a certain political candidate who has endeared himself to the physically challenged, prisoners of war (also military veterans) and something I can identify with: women.

The point: Nurse researchers, please get with the program. While my folks may use safety belts, I have yet to see any "bound" to a wheelchair. If you are so up-to-date, please use modern terminology, please. Wheelchair user would do just fine in your article.

Finally, never assume. Wheelchair users most likely are not deaf, nor stupid. Treat them the way you'd want to be treated. In the fine words of one of my friends with multiple sclerosis (who celebrated World MS Day this past week), "I have MS, but it doesn't have me!"

And now for a moment from our sponsor. Stay tuned! 

Little things

Lately, little things mean a lot, or little things can get on my nerves. I'm working hard to let the latter ones go.

Bubba waits for making decisions and it drives me crazy. I almost had a heart attack over him changing his mind about a field trip. I forgot important stuff and had to come back home before I could go to work. A little stop and check would have solved everything.

Some people get on my nerves at work. It might be their attitudes or habits or anything. I just think sometimes, it gets magnified. I am singing that song "Let it go" in my head a lot lately. I can't fix them, so I have to let it go. I'll let them fall on their faces first, because no matter what, they are right. Once they get scraped up, they'll get it.

It's time to live for the good little things, not the bad. Savor the good and let the bad ones go.

The bitter and the sweet

So many things fit that description this week. Retirements and births in our little neck of the woods in RehabLand.

And I finally got the promotion I've been working on for the last three years. Sweet! Bitter: the attitude of the woman in HR who was supposed to answer my questions about it. (I wish SHE were on that retirement list...she needs something!) However, I was sweet in thanking her for her diatribe.

It doesn't matter when I get it, I know it's on the way...FINALLY!

Dear idiot on the Starbucks parking lot

Hey!

Don't know if you and the girlfriend noticed today, but it's hot.

Since I got into the parking lot BEFORE you, I indicated my choice of spot by doing a very normal thing: turning on my blinker, stopping, then putting the car in reverse to back into the shady, available spot.

Yes, I did see you in my mirror, but only because you sped up behind me as soon as I put the car in reverse.

Guess what? I'm first so I win. I will get my parking spot. Please drive around. I'm not moving until you do. You have plenty of room.

Too bad you have to find another that's not in the shade. I have folks who don't tolerate the heat well with me today (I'm on a respite trip to Starbucks, anyway.) and I got here first.

Sorry Charlie. Maybe you'll just have to spend extra and buy her an iced, cold Frappuccino.

Sincerely not,

RehabRN

Wild Friday

Yes, I'm so, so glad this week is over. My Friday was really, really weird and probably just the culmination of an extraordinary week.

Besides all the brouhaha of the new digs opening, one of our nurses, who works the home health side had to call an ambulance for herself from a patient's home this week. We still don't know what happened to her.

The boss's boss came over to inspect again. S/he's just so friendly--only talks to the people she wants to. I've given up doing anything but speaking when spoken to. Why bother when s/he doesn't acknowledge you anyway?

And on top of this, my sibling who was coming to town got delayed and so did our hospitalized relative who was supposed to be discharging this week. Logistical nightmare trying to get him/her home caused a problem that could not be resolved until Monday. I personally don't believe it was all logistics, but then again, just call me a cynic.

I know a long weekend when I see one, so I'm taking one, myself.

Stay tuned...it should be a fun weekend.

Too darned hot, part 77

First part: get an e-mail from the gal in HR processing an incentive program for you. Have to escape the office to drive to her office on company time (yippee!) Hot, hot, hot. Had fun, though. Susie, always has the darnedest stories about the idiocies of trying to recruit for the Hotel and Washington and our system.

"Hey, if they need you, you get the incentive period. Don't know why Idiot X in that department cares. Needs to get her panties out of a bunch."

I love Susie. Wish she could order more executives around!

Later, sitting in the drive-thru of the chicken place Bubba chose as his "eat out nite" place was brutal today. As Murphy would have it, we had to line up behind a van load of people with special orders.

Technically, it's was only 102 degrees Fahrenheit, but the temp gauge on my old car said 120 degrees.

Glad that twenty minutes of my day is over and done.

More to come...

Some people...

Just get my dander up being veritable 'holes, if you know what I mean. They are the "holier than thous" who really are downright mean to patients and don't even notice.

Unless, of course, you do something really damaging to a patient, like move the internet router from his/her room so it can be shared across the hall for others.

This particular hole is very irritating. So glad tomorrow is Friday...and I'm sneaking out early.

A little recon

Dear Referring Officials in Said Happy City:

Despite patient comments stating that you all are saying we're an "Army barracks" and "no one wants to go there," you keep sending us patients. Yes, we had a patient family member tell us this yet again that you've said things that are not true.

Yes, we're not the newest Hotel du Jour Rehab, but you're forgetting a few things. Here's the truth:

1. We do our work AND it works. Yes, we have a fine reputation for healing people and we do it over, and over and over again. It's true our specialist physician only calls on certain days, but we are so fortunate to have staff physicians who really get it and know when to say when about calling him/her back for backup if needed.

2. We have a beautiful neighborhood. It's scenic, with bluffs, river, sky and all sorts of wild critters that make it  perfectly picturesque. Many patients tell me they try to get by the windows at dusk, or go outside, just to see the deer and other critters mulling around. For many folks from rural areas, it reminds them of home, even though we're not far from the bustle of the city down the road.

3. We have a wonderful place for visiting families to stay. In fact, if it were open to the general public, it would be overrun with those Civil War (and other war) reenactors due to the fact we're so close to historic sites where they go visit. Many of our patients are loathe to leave after staying there (it's that nice).

4. Besides, we are closer to one of the BEST (yes it was rated that way) cultural institutions and it did beat the c$%p out of your nationally rated one because we care...and ours is free to all.

So, please be sure to do your research first from reliable sources, 'cause your recon ain't so good.

Sincerely not,

RehabRN

Shut out

I almost went 3 for 3 today.

1. The patient portal I was supposed to get patients registered in for the SU was down...yet again today.  I get to try tomorrow for the complete shutout for the week.

2. I got the dreaded Professional Development e-mail, "Sorry, you (a nurse) don't deserve time off on duty to speak at xx International Conference."

It just doesn't matter that you have your boss, your boss's boss and the boss's boss's boss sending letters on your behalf. No, but "you can do this on your vacation time."

But, your colleagues in the department (not nurses) get an all-expense paid trip to their conference.
Idiots. Will be happy to consult my HR/lawyer friend. I smell a rat.

3. My computer keeps acting up. If it dies, I doubt the cheapskates at Madison will let me have another before the end of the fiscal year.

I will be so happy when this week is finally over!

Can I put it on Craigslist?

Dear Hospital Equipment Engineer Guy:

The portable equipment has been waiting for six months already for you to pick it up. They even came and installed a new, handy, dandy one, so the techs don't even use this one as backup. We've called, cajoled and asked nicely multiple times.

So if you don't come and get it, here's what's happening.

1. I put it in the lobby. I'm tired of walking around the dinosaur every time I need to get one of my patients with wheelchairs in the room.

2. I'm calling you one more time.

3. If you choose not to pick it up, I'm turning the inspection form on the front over, writing "FREE" on it, and parking out in front of the building.

4. Right after it's staged there, I'll post that ad on craigslist to come by Madison Hospital for a great free "rare" equipment deal.

I know security won't do anything about it, because it's too heavy, but call you.

Sincerely not,

RehabRN

Benefits of being a student

1. You get to read lots of magazines that have absolutely nothing to do with nursing, but are interesting when studying the US healthcare system.

This FastCompany article on Medicare fraud was very enlightening.

2. You get an international perspective from more than just your classmates on privacy issues, whether it's HIPAA or some other national protocol.

Word to staff: Don't try this one, even if she is cute.

3. Another plus: idiots exist wherever you go, just like the MD and her husband in this article.

Thank you Vince Ciotti for posting these links via HIStalk. You make being a student very interesting, indeed. Keep up the good work!

Off I go to work. More later...

How to tell if your boss is an idiot, part 2

Or how to tell if your boss and his/her boss are not getting along.

Since Madison requires that nurses transferring to the clinic I'm going to be oriented and trained by our crack corporate training staff (Employee Edu-mucation), I told my boss once I found out what the training schedule was, as this needs to be completed soon.

1.Send e-mail to boss. Boss says "Sure, go right ahead." (which is totally unusual, since Boss doesn't usually act like he/she cares about anything right away.

2. Read this e-mail. All is good. Will talk to admin person (who coordinates all the details) in morning.


3. No, boss comes out and says "Read your e-mail." His/her boss says, "No way are you just going to that training. You have to submit Form X to Committee Y and get approval from Director Z before you can even think about going to that."

And the final line (after Boss's boss CC's  the corporate training director, chief nurse and other minions -- 4 in all).

4. Boss's boss says, "Please fill out form X and send in ASAP so we can get this done."

5. Needless to say, once I looked down from the computer, I noticed it was time to go home. And so I left this paper for another day...

Stay tuned ...

How to tell if your boss is an idiot, part 1

Yes, more and more, either he/she's got amnesia or needs a vacation, I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that my boss is a first-class idiot.

Case in point: recall the post about uncompensated training recently? Guess what? I can be compensated per rule #xx in the handbook.

Our person who normally handles this is out of the office (on vacation) but the chirpy HR lady  they switched me to at Central HR said, "Yep. If he/she can't let you use that comp time for a day off, you get your OT."

I e-mail this and proposed clinic training plan to boss.

His/her response: "Really?"

So glad I'm not working or I'd bang my head firmly into the wall...over and over. Just makes me wonder what else he/she's been messing up in the mean time.

More to come...it's one thing after another here at the Hotel!

Yes, I work for an idiot

Signs that you may work for an idiot:

1. No matter how many times you tell him/her that you did something they ask if you did it. (I even sent e-mails for a paper trail)

2. You show the boss the product he/she was looking for and they request changes, saying, "Well, my boss won't take it if it's not black/white or navy/white with yellow titles."  His/her boss must be an opthamologist.

Don't worry about content, just contrast. Okay....

3. Your boss isn't sure about a presentation you've sweated blood over for months because he/she thinks too many nurses might show up.

Hmm...the nurses were invited...remember? And I just happen to be ONE of those nurses!

More to come...

I'd really like to...

...pummel some sense into the Slug and a sense of relaxation into some of my other coworkers, but unfortunately, that would constitute assault.

It was tempting...the boss left early, though, and I'd have been stuck cleaning up the mess.

Now for a really important cup of coffee and some relaxation.

More to come...stay tuned.