The joys of childhood

Bubba declared this to be, "The best Halloween ever."

He got to wear his favorite costume twice, and then go door-to-door with one of his best friends, who decided to be the Grim Reaper this year.

Now all I have to do is keep him out of the seven pounds of candy he managed to bring home, even when they have the treat police (no peanuts, no soy, etc.) at school this year.

And a day off tomorrow...what more could a kid want.

Stay tuned.

Simply the best

Oh, we're gonna celebrate at the Hotel. The place was hopping on evenings when I called S., who was leading the charge.

Now maybe the baseball fans will be quiet...until spring.

So, so wrong

Driving through the tree-lined lane on my way home, as I'm admiring the fall colors, I see one of the Hotel patients. (I know Mr. X pretty well because I admitted him on his previous trip.)

At this point, he's nearly a mile from the Hotel, with his wheelchair loaded up with shopping bags. To add to the fun and excitement, there is no sidewalk and no shoulder. If a car comes, he's in trouble.

I call the unit and they must be busy, so no one answers the phone. I get the pleasure of bouncing to the on-call doc. The boss is the doc of the day.

So glad I don't work those evenings anymore...

Vices

I do not smoke.

I only occasionally drink.

However, I absolutely refuse to stop getting my toenails lacquered a beautiful deep red.

It keeps me sane, even when I get lost in my work and forget until my pedicurist calls...

Stay tuned. More fun on it's way as Halloween comes to the Hotel.

I'm out of time...

But not out of touch, like the song says. So, so happy good things happen after hours and your homeboys and girls at the Hotel send you messages about it.



Y'all are the best, kids.

Kisses,

RehabRN

Thankfully, Monday's over...

Every man has a sane spot somewhere. --Robert Louis Stevenson 

Will use my sharp nursing assessment skills to determine if my boss fits this category after his/her behavior yesterday.

I won't hold my breath, however.

Stay tuned...

Only...

49 days until the end of the semester...yes!

I now have a mission: survive Monday and the rest of this class.

It can be done...cross your fingers.

I'm raising a barbarian

Bubba: (extremely loud belch) "That's how you burp, Mom". "A, B, C, D..."

Me: Excuse me? I could have lived without that, dear.

(head bang on desk)

My child hasn't left grade school, and he's perfecting all the things he'll need if he ever joins a fraternity, like Dahey.

I'm so glad I'm sending him to school tomorrow...

Stay tuned...a mother's work is never done!

Hangin' with the Queen

The Queen of Saintarama Rehab on the occasion of the celebration of the 20th anniversary of her 30th natal day that is.

Yes, the Queen of Rehab Scheduling turns 5-0 (oops! said it!) Thanks so much for "forgetting" I (and a few others) was supposed to work every other weekend until they made you, and it was time for me to exit. It was so nice to catch up with everyone again.

I am still, and will be, eternally grateful. Enjoy another year of fun! At least Dr. S. won't be there with you to drive you crazy, just like at that conference. (wink wink) That's my extra special gift that wouldn't fit in the bag at the party.

Enjoy every minute!

Wild Friday night

Boys off to a hockey game. Me and Wild Dog listening to quiet.

Ahh!

It ain't Bob and Bing on the Road to Utopia, but..

All of these things happened to me on the road recently with the boss.

1. I was accused of drinking the last of the caffeinated coffee in the conference room. I drank decaf instead, and waited for the new stuff to arrive. "No, " I replied. "It ran out before I got there."
2. Boss almost choked. Thank goodness I didn't have to do the Heimlich on him/her.
3. Boss kept borrowing so many office supplies that my return flight seat mate said, "What are you going to have to do next? Make coffee?"

But it wasn't all terrible.

1. Boss held my spot in line to get on the plane as I desperately ran to Starbucks for a coffee and he/she declined one. (I was nice and offered, as I always do.)
2. Boss stood in the rain to get a cab.

3. Boss and I sat near each other in the conference and I didn't hide his/her pens once (although he/she "borrowed" my only notepad to take calls from people at the Hotel.) Yes, while the meeting was in progress. Boss also wrote remote orders on his/her laptop.
4. Boss complimented me on my knowledge in front of our work group, who had come from around the nation.

It is always interesting to watch
1. Specialists squirm when they don't understand something.
2. People getting in those inside comments, "We finally went out and got Nurse X a Queen's Square hammer for the clinic after that study." Thanks to Grumpy, I actually KNEW that one. (still have to find out what Boss's favorite is though...I'm guessing a Troemner)

Nevertheless, I survived. Boss, I'll miss you when you're gone the next time.

Just remember...I have pictures of you sleeping with your mouth wide open on the plane, proving, yet again, that you're still human like the rest of us.

Stay tuned...could be on the road again before you know it.

Sad but true

Yes, some people think makeup makes you more competent.

When they perfect a mascara that is totally sweatproof, tearproof and rubproof, I'll wear better stuff. Some days makeup lasts all of 10 minutes at the Hotel, so you have to be careful what you wear.

Stay tuned...real life happens today. Welcome to meeting-o-rama for me!

You know you're in another world when...

Someone asks you what the KISS principle is. If you're feeling diplomatic in your grad class, you say it's Keep It Short and Simple.

Otherwise, if your inner nerd comes out, you tell the truth, and run like the wind.

More high drama later...

Right down the middle...

It's wild and wooliness at the Hotel with all the patients, since the World Series is right in the middle of America, with the St. Louis Cardinals vs. Texas Rangers. I think all we have left are baseball fans on our census. Not a peep about football.

Oh, we'll never hear the end of it. Where's the rest of the popcorn (since the vending machines don't stock Cracker Jack)?

I love a good diversion...

Joy of joys, details at 11

Team meeting tonight. It would possibly include the news tagline "Details at 11" if R. lived in the same city as one of our other teammates for this grad class. Thank goodness for the internet...keeping nurses from physically throttling other nurses at team meetings.

It also helps that we have a leader who is completely clueless on the group dynamics. Here's a chance to have more hours of my life thrown into a black hole of nothingness, and to top it all with a cherry, this assignment is due this week.

And if that's not enough, Boss and I get to hit the road to visit for a meeting halfway across the country.

I'm packing my bags, 'cause Maalox here I come! Stay tuned...

Lather, rinse, repeat part 37

(head bang into wall) Please tell me how many more days of Purgatory this grad school "teamwork" class is again?

Only 57 more days, my classmate, R. reminds me. It's just not soon enough.(another head bang)

I'm so excited

And I just can't hide it, so Happy Friday to all!

If I ran Hotel Rehab...

Dear Boss:

Yes, after a recent meeting in which the nursing staff was errantly dressed down by management for flagrant patient violations of house rules, here's what I'd do if I ran the Hotel Rehab.

1. Yes, bring in the guys in the uniforms (our security force) and make them lay down the law.
Rule: you break it, you buy it, which means as soon as you can, you're outta here, pal.

2. Have psychology work rotations 24/7 on call. What a pain it is to have no support at odd hours when you need it. Psych's busy enough with all the commitments, suicidal ideations, etc. Come on down and peel this "not sick enough for psych" character off the ceiling so I can do my work. And stop the groper from groping my fellow staff members.

3. Really discharge non-compliant patients. You're perfectly competent, but choose to disobey rules and make yourself sick enough to require emergency care? Out you go...

Just my two cents. Maybe it'll stick if I repeat it enough.

Yours truly,

RehabRN

Pollen, be gone!

One of these days, all of this fall pollen will be history. It won't be soon enough for me. I had a horrible day duking it out with dust and other random pollens.

Back to work...

Dude...

What a way to start the day: Bubba, who did all his homework, is up early watching Japanese Pokemon episodes on YouTube.




Should be interesting to see how much he picks up.

More to come...stay tuned.

Thank you for smoking

Dear Patients,

Yes, I'm not talking about the movie, I'm just talking about what I see at the Hotel Rehab.

By spending lots of money on cigarettes, you are, in a roundabout way, financing my house, car and Bubba's college education. Thanks so much.

Here's how.

1. Smoking impairs wound healing, according to studies. You sign a contract at the Hotel saying you won't smoke, so what do you expect, when I see you out on the front lawn, with your visitors and your IV pole, talking and taking long drags?

And BTW, some of those studies mentioned above say that smokers get impaired absorption and effectiveness of some drugs, too. Dr. Z will not give you the flap of your dreams if you're not compliant.

2. And word to the wise, Mr. S.: Don't be lying to that person who's calling you to help you, and who needs you to be abstinent of tobacco.When note after note says you were outside smoking, who do you think he/she's gonna believe? (He/she can read our notes)

3. And if either one of you two idiots smoke outside my window again, I can and will water my plant on the windowsill. That darned gravity is crazy on the second floor.

Cheers, love and good wishes (you may want to wear a raincoat),

RehabRN

Take on me...

Nothin' like a little Norwegian fun to end a week of mixing, matching and mangling with Manglement. Hope you all enjoy wherever you find yourselves this weekend.

Say it anyway
Today isn't my day to find you...

Take on me
Take me on...
I'll be gone...


Stolen away
Slowly learning that life is game
It's no better to be safe than sorry!

Mixin' it up...

Sometimes I am nice. I return calls, I do favors for my friends on the floor. I walk back to the unit from the SU with patients who are going that way, and their transporter's not there.

In fact, I'm getting used to the temporary office, and the fact, that I'm allowed to wander around to do my job. Yes, with stuff here, there and everywhere, I am getting my exercise walking. I need to walk anyway, since I sit for longer periods than I ever did while I was caring for people on the floor.

But if you try to tell me you're going to make me take less time doing my job to make you happy, Big Boss, I'm going to tell you the truth. You, nor your providers will get reimbursed for me or that SU work you're volunteering me for 'cause it ain't codeable. (Thank you coders and Ms. SU Guru for teaching me all the magic words to say about provider workload.)

I am here for the SU patients, you know, the rehabbers you wanted me especially for in the first place.

And if you think you're gonna mess with my people (even indirectly), you're gonna have to deal with me: She who will not be cowed.'Cause all these other coders and assorted folks who get you money are banking on me.

Any questions? I didn't think so...

RIP Steve Jobs

Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected. ~Steve Jobs

Dear Steve,

I live this quote every day. It's harder some days than others, but in the bureaucracy of the Hotel, every once in a while, someone notices.

Say hello to all those patients in Heaven I took care of just like you. One even called himself your brother. I'm sure he's hanging out somewhere looking for you. "We are all together in transplant", he and another lady told me, no matter what organ it is.

BTW I still really love my iPhone, even if I spent all those years on the Dark Side of computing. Elegant simplicity is, as always, truly stunning.

Godspeed and rest in peace,

RehabRN

Yes, Nobel season

'Tis the season again, as one of my patients reminded me, to handicap the Nobel Prizes. You don't know who's nominated, but it's fun to see who wins. No one is ever a Nobel Prize nominee.

So happy they decided to let Ralph Steinman stay a Nobel laureate for his (and two contributors) work in medicine.

RIP Ralph wherever you are. Your work will make life better for others, just as it extended your own life.

Misspent youth, part 65

Yes, at one of my first jobs, I had a boss who was a major gamer in the bad old days when you didn't have high speed internet at home. He invited all his buddies (no use hiding the sex here...ain't no HIPAA among gamers!) for LAN parties at the office, which was closed for the weekend. This was, of course, explained to management, as "network load testing."

My job entailed a lot of internet surfing. I was the chief user on the user internet stats at Ye Old Government back in the day. All was for my job (and I had the stats on my side, too, baby!)

But, as a nurse, I have to say, I thought this was pretty cool, doing hospital orientation in a virtual world.
Wonder if I could frag anyone...or at least run a virtual code?

Stay tuned...you never know.

All on a Monday

You know you're going to have a day when...

1. The first two things you learn when you come to work is that one coworker and one relative of a coworker died over the weekend.

2. The wheelchair you've been waiting for never shows up. Paging therapy, purchasing, anyone who can get you wheels.

3. The crazy MD you talked to as you were walking out the door Friday sent you a cheery e-mail. Why am I having this Cruella DeVil vision when I think about that phone conversation?

4. Your supposedly "clean" office is so dusty, you may just have to go back to the allergist.

But things get better...really.

1. You get a guy who's been at your place for two weeks out of bed. "C'mon, I need your help." works a lot...I guess if you're a lonely guy who feels sorry for the nutty clinic nurse who can fling him on his stretcher with the best of them.

2. You and your office mates stage the latest potluck to scare away culinary boredom at the hospital cafe. How about a nice salami, mortadella and some coppa with that melon....yum!

At least, I'll get to do some more fun stuff later this week. Can't wait...stay tuned.

Some reruns

Are just classics, so if you haven't already seen Dr. Grumpy's latest Sunday Rerun, you just better run right on over and check out this week's version about insurance companies and bureaucracy.

It makes the Govermint look tame in comparison. Who'd have thought office folks would love Medicare?

Stay tuned...I'm relaxing and enjoying the weekend while it lasts.

All that was missing...

Were the exquisite chocolates, when Dahey and I went out for dinner for our anniversary recently.

Moules, frites with mayo, and a delightful lambic.

I wanna go back to Bruges! Somebody take me away...on y va!