I'm sure you're jealous...

Yes, I actually had a couple of people say they were jealous of me today.

I am terribly lucky. I have a job I love that has intermittent idiotic things happening. That saying "you can't fix stupid" really is so true in my day-to-day life. I just strive to work around it. My favorite idiot this week: our surly office secretary. Yes, she's supposed to answer the phone, file, sort mail and process time cards, but heaven forbid she do any more than she has to do. Her job includes providing customer service to phone callers. She's so useless in that regard, and I'm tired of the complaints, that I'm asking all those wronged to file formal complaints because that's the only thing she seems to understand. (Reprimands are expensive at Madison...)


On a beautiful spring day, I headed up to our mother ship, Washington and was working on a site-wide demo with the kids (our new techs) from the SU. It was fun. I got to meet one of my nursing counterparts who works in another rehab unit. A. got me plenty of marketing materials for one of our programs (and hers) so I worked it over and put it out at the Hotel. She was thrilled.

I took my time on the way back. The sunshine-filled day had me taking the back roads to the office, so I made sure I called my favorite restaurant and picked up lunch for Dahey, my travelling partner and me.

Happy Friday all. Enjoy your weekend, wherever you are.

No way!

"I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!" --Sally Field

Thanks Doc C for inviting me to Public U to read my submission to your poetry journal.

I know it's really because you did your internship here in RehabLand, and if someone decent comes along, you just invite him/her.

Shucks, now I'm just gonna have to tell the boss I have a reading date at PubU that day.

More to come.

This is why...

I love being a rehab nurse. Being able to get people home, to live their lives, take care of their kids, and keep going.

You go, girl. Beat them whippersnappers!

Everybody needs a mascot

In case you thought March Madness was over, it's not, in basketball or in oddities.

I got this very letter (masked to protect the guilty) in my grad school e-mail box. (I'm not making this up.) I'm so glad Bubba is protected from all this later.

Enjoy!

=====================================================

Subject: Does a medical school campus really need a mascot?

March 22, 2012

Dear Fellow Students:

As all of you now know there has been a process underway to establish a mascot for Public University.

I have gained considerable insight into the views of the Medical Campus after speaking to, and reading survey comments from, members of the various constituencies (students, faculty, staff and alumni).  To summarize, MC stakeholders overwhelming favored the ‘no mascot’ option.  After discussing these results over the past few weeks, the Student Senate of the Medical Campus has voted unanimously to withdraw the MC from the mascot selection process at this time. Therefore, the mascot selected at the Metro campus will not serve as the mascot for MC.

After meeting with Chancellor Wartley and incoming Chancellor Ellis, I have been assured this action does not preclude a future generation from undertaking this effort for MC. It is quite clear that a mascot is not currently in the best interest of the Medical Campus; however, I did not want this decision to permanently prevent MC from choosing a mascot should the need arise in the future.

We are anxious to hear what the Metro campus chooses for their campus’ mascot and wish them well in their endeavors.

If you have any questions or would like additional information, please contact me by replying directly to this email.  Thank you.


Jay Thomas
President, MC Student Senate

Monday Fun Day

As one of my coworkers from nights says, "What's not to love about Mondays?"

There are
Meetings,
Madness, and
Minute after minute on support calls trying to get problems fixed (actually only 30 minutes with a quirky guy who asked me out when I was done).

Nevertheless, it's over now. Back to school for me. There's an evidence-based practice article waiting with my name on it (I wish I were kidding.)

More to come...

Almost over...

Spring Break ends tomorrow for me and Bubba.

It's been an interesting week. Training, appointments and a couple of days of vacation thrown in. Overall, I'm happy, even if I didn't get a week to enjoy with Bubba or to have fun roaming hither and yon at whim like I'm apt to do on staycation.

I've been reading lots. Books, blogs, you name it.

Here's my reading list of the past few days, because tomorrow, it's back to being a grad student in the last part of the semester. No more breaks until May.

Fun books:

CSI by Anthony Zuiker talks about the show of the same name.

Brandwashed by Martin Lindstrom talks about marketing and manipulation. Ah, I get warm fuzzies thinking about my time in the marketing department as a contract worker bee. Such fun with product focus groups!

And even though it might not seem like fun, I really enjoyed Help! for Writers by Roy Peter Clark. I figure it can't hurt with those assignments coming up!

Blogs:

I like to read Doc Grumpy and Nurse K regularly. Two really different points of view, but I enjoy the randomness of things that happen, because that is my life, too. 

Since I had time to meander, I also visited a few blogs I don't normally get to enough. Everyone needs Therapy is an interesting blog and I particularly enjoyed the post on March 18 about Paul Carr and drinking.

At Your Cervix is another blog I pop in and out of intermittently. I like this blog because the author is a student like me.

The snarky ones: FML, Apostrophe Abuse, and my all-time favorite, Passive Aggressive Notes, had a section on Tourist Terrorists in Spain. Just priceless. However, the best of the snarkiness category had to be this entry on the Daddle (with comment) in UHpinions. No, I'm not making this up.

Alas, I'm getting back to a delightful Hefeweizen and getting ready for the week. Can't wait until the next vacation.

Stay tuned...

A classic

Just another reason why someone needs to leave this book out on the break table at the Hotel. We can't change everything, but we can change ourselves, one person at a time.

What I learned in kindergarten:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Fun weekend

I plan on having a bit of fun this weekend if it ever stops raining. Today was beautiful and sunny, until one hour before I was going home. Things turned stormy and the thunder boomed and lightning flashed. I was happy to make it home without getting caught in any hail.

This weekend I'll do two things I don't get to do much: hang out with my girl friends. For part one, it'll be sans little kids (one office mate is bringing her adult daughter along). What fun could a few girls have on a weekend: a spa day,trip to a winery, or retail therapy, you say?

Nope. We're going on a scavenger hunt. Yes, a scavenger hunt, which is held every year at the largest park in RehabLand. It's a cooperative thing among the local municipality, the parks department and the cultural attractions (museums, schools, etc.) that are around located near the park.

It has tons of rules, like no cell phones can be used, and you can't separate in your groups. This includes when you go to the bathroom. (Your group is expected to wait for you outside and not scope out the rest of the course). Besides that, like any other public fun thing to do anymore, you have to sign a release saying it's not their fault if you fall off the carousel or trip down the steps of the museum.

For part two of the girls weekend, my pharmacist friend is coming to town, with husband and kids in tow. It's her annual pilgrimage back to RehabLand, and happily, it coincides with the kids' Spring Break out on the coast. If we're lucky, we'll get a group of friends together and we'll just go to dinner or visit at somebody's house.

While she's here, we plan on starting the book. Still working on a title, but we're starting a chapter called the Top 100 Ways to Annoy Your Pharmacist. She's got 50 and says we can get more by the time she gets here. Should be an interesting weekend!

Enjoy your weekend, wherever you roam! Stay tuned.

Stupid things people do at work

Just some recent observations. Happy Friday all!

1. Plugging in items so people can trip over the cords. Safety first (at least on this list!)

2. Letting your lunch explode all over the microwave. Bonus points (you think) if you get away without cleaning it up. Bounty (not the quicker picker-upper, either) if caught in the act.

3. Filling up the Shred-it box so full that the company is refusing to pick it up (I wish I were kidding.) I'm not sure where someone is finding all these phone books to disassemble.

4. Bringing in a coffee pot to a conference room, then unplugging the video conference equipment because, "Oh we don't need that anyway. We need the coffee pot plugged in."

5. Wondering why they can't get anyone from New York on the conference call. (see #4) Obviously, they were drinking decaf...

Mutiny

That's the way it's getting to be in the Hotel. I thank my lucky stars I'm not on the floor anymore. It's just too ugly. I don't think I could stand it. The insolence some days is so thick, it's as if a fog has rolled inside. Add to that some crazy allied health people who are in trouble with HR and it's even more exciting.

The SU's been plenty busy. We're getting clinics up and running and upgrading equipment. I even get to share my spot with some very expensive equipment (haven't done that in ages!).

Spring is here again and soon, it will be very busy. Lots of people are antsy and wanting to go home.
We'll see how it goes...

More to come.

Signs of the season

I always know when a certain tree is really pollinating in RehabLand.

Bubba went outside with Dahey and WildDog to wait  for me to come back from the store with the ice cream and his eyes are already red and swollen.

One genetic trait I wish I could have avoided passing along...

Fritterin' the day away

I had an enormous task today: entertain Bubba and keep him out of trouble on his spring break.

Our task list:

1. Eat breakfast at McDonalds early in the AM. No kids were on any of the Playland equipment. Run, dance and sing in there with reckless abandon. Why not?

2. Go on errands with Mom, which included checking out all the spice blends and providing commentary for other customers: "Oh! Mom, this Greek one sounds interesting." as he read the information on the shelf.

3. Visit the library AND the bookstore. We went out of the way to a different library, so this was a fun diversion. The bookstore moved some of his favorite books, so we went searching for them, and he's been reading it all day.

4. Go to lunch with Mom, don't order anything, but eat about half of her lunch. "Wow, salmon is pretty good."

5. Visit relatives who also happen to be off. Fun times when your retired great aunt gives you the remote control and you watch every cartoon you can.

I enjoyed that, because I could talk without interruption.

6. Come home and help Mom make dinner and dessert.

I didn't do all the things I wanted today (or this weekend), but I did do one thing. I had fun with my family.

Stay tuned...

Some people

Dear Specialist:

Please do not call me when I purposely put my status (out of office) on my e-mail, phone, voice mail, Office Communicator and the call list. I will not answer because I have your number in my phone.

Just because you think of something while you're on vacation with your kids on spring break is not an emergency for me. And while you're at it, please stop cc'ing the world on e-mails because it makes you feel better. All it does is drive the people listed (including me) crazy...and fills up our mailboxes.

Go have fun and stay out of our hair. It's our vacation, too (if you'd ever stop checking your e-mail and voice messages.)

Sincerely not,

RehabRN

Just another reason...

I don't have guys like this as a lot of my patients.I do have a secret to share though, if you're nice. I'll ask for a lidocaine order to go with it, so it takes the edge off.


I am a professional rehab nurse and do this a whole lot. In fact, I'm pretty good at it.

Just remember: No nicee = no lidocaine, and nurse may get nervous and go really, really, slowly.

Happy St. Patrick's Day weekend

Here in RehabLand, I'll be wearin' the green and cranking out a load or two of Irish goodies, like soda bread and corned beef for the up and coming holiday here in town. Three words: parades, corned beef and cabbage.

And just maybe (wink wink) raising a glass of some other nice Irish beverage or two, I leave you with this toast:

"May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road...
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed!"

Out of the mouths of babes

I always call myself an "amateur mother" because, with only one kid, I feel that I am. I do not have to manage the chaos that is two or more kids vomiting at the same time. I call WildDog my furry kid, but he's pretty self-sufficient. I guess it's that herding breed or something.

Bubba and random kids have given me much food for thought lately.

"Mom, what's your favorite kind of cherry: the tart ones or maraschinos?" Bubba
Translation: I really want you take me to Bobby's Famous Frozen Custard for that ice cream you get me. I did get him distracted by arguing the merits of Rainier cherries.


"He won't come down when you call. Why?" Little girl at McDonald's recently about Bubba
My answer: He will when I tell him I'm leaving without him. He thinks climbing to the top of the play land and hiding in the tallest part until he gets threats is fun. Crazy boy.

"Mom, I think there's a storm watch. Do we go to higher ground?" Bubba
Somehow, I don't think the recent severe weather practice drill was as informative as when I was in school. I remember the bad old days: teachers had everyone in the central halls, all the classroom doors closed, and everyone was crouched with our heads tucked to avoid flying debris.

Luckily, after that first big hail storm in kindergarten, things were pretty boring at school after that. All the exciting weather, like the blizzard that closed school for a week, happened when kids were at home.


"Dad, do you know you were alive when the Super Bowl started?" Bubba
My child loves math and if you give him a few facts he starts calculating. Ah, like my parents, I have delusions of grandeur: chemist, biologist, pharmacist, engineer, doctor. In reality, Bubba is lucky: all of his aunts and great aunts have done those jobs. (The uncles are the docs.) Or even a nurse (or nursing professor) like his cousins.

What better role models for a boy to have? Aunts, uncles, and cousins in interesting jobs they find fun. That a dream I hope everyone gets to see reality. My job may be crazy, but despite Manglement's perverted view of promoting nurses' work to the "highest level of practice" by denying any education opportunity THEY might have to pay for, they can't take the enjoyment away.

Fun things to do early in the AM

I love getting to work early, because you see things in stillness, when it's quiet and not quite crazy as they will be when the regular day shift starts.

So, I try to be efficient. Yep, I find people who are already there and we work on stuff that might not get done early.  Here's what I did recently.

1. I roamed around with our new campus tech guy (aka New Guy). He saved my butt and I got SU work done the other day. (NG is not new to the role as campus poobah, just the Hotel).

2. During roaming, I helped him with his equipment inventory. It's nice to show up when no one's around and get it tagged and checked.

3. If people were around, he got introduced to the staff: on the floor, in the offices, to the docs, everybody (I didn't leave anyone out who I could snatch as they walked by).

4. Really funny introduction: startling the boss when he/she brings in his lunch, coffee and everything first thing.

Intro went kind of like this, after Jess the admin let us in his/her office:

Me (with NG): "Hi Boss, we're doing inventory. Jess let us in."
Boss: (startled) "Hi! " (Wanders in...coffee cup looks full.)
NG: "Sir do you use this device (pointing at inventory item)?"
Boss: "Not really. I need a different one, like the radiologists use."
Me: "BTW, NG, Boss has to look at a lot of procedures where he needs to know where his needles go, by looking at MRIs, etc."
NG: "No problems, Boss. Mr. R (equipment guru) can get you one...or two if you really want."
Boss: "Thanks. One's fine."
Me: "Bye boss." (exit stage right)

You  just never know what will happen roaming around the office at all hours.

Stay tuned...

Just don't wanna...

I'm not in the mood to do homework.

Today is almost my Friday. To celebrate Bubba's spring break, I'm taking off part of it to have at least one small family get together and a long weekend.

One of these days my boss will figure out that 1) I don't work on the floor anymore, 2) he/she doesn't have to replace me with floor staff when I'm off (I do my own replacements, thanks) and consequently, 3) I ought to be able to take off when I want to do so AND I have coverage.

More to come...it's always something new and exciting every day.

Moral of the story: It's all about the patient

Dear Pissy Nurse:

Yes, I suspect I stayed over one minute recently in the conference room you had reserved because I had a patient in there.

The rule in this facility is when I need to use that expensive piece of equipment, which is used frequently for patient care, but stored in a conference room, I can (and will continue) to use it. I even rearranged the appointment so you wouldn't be disturbed. Why you wouldn't give me one extra minute to get out is odd, because I was done exactly when your appointment started.

It's a tragedy that meeting got moved again, but let's remember, in the grand scheme of things, what it's really all about.

Sincerely (I will bump you again, if it's for a patient),

RehabRN

Monday, Monday

What will the week bring?

I know...meetings! And more meetings! And a couple of clinics thrown in for good measure.

M is not just for Monday, at the Hotel, it's also for Meetings.

More to come...see you all later!

Yes, there's no place like it..

No  place like home. So glad to finally get to sleep in my own bed again.

Stay tuned...

Fun on the road

Yes, I'm wreaking havoc at my conference.

My day today:

1. Get up at 0600. Eat breakfast and look longingly at those beautiful sausages. Alas, it's Friday.
2. Go to  meetings. Actually met someone who knew Mitt Romney back in  the day of the Olympics.
3. Learn way more about standardized testing and statistics than I ever want to know.
4. Come back to the hotel.
5. Stroll around the neighborhood.
6. Get out the credit card and go shopping at the nearby upscale mall and find those items on this travel guy's website. 
7. Drop way too much money on fun travel stuff.
8. At least I get credit on Dahey's frequent buyer card. (Maybe that skirt will get paid for after all...)
9. Go find a Lenten indulgence: sushi and spring rolls.
10. Find my way back to the hotel via Starbucks (might as well start with dessert...yum!)
11. Hang out in the bar, get my freebie (since the hotel goofed) and people watch.
12. Finally, go upstairs, shower and vegetate in the room.

Paradise....ah!

Do I really have to study? I'm not tonight. Stay tuned.

Now I know why

I really, really need to make a list (and/or complete my packing) all at once. I also need to plan ground transportation.

Arrived at hotel tonight for nursing conference and realized that,

1. I only have two pairs of pants.
2. I rode here from one of the nation's busiest airports in a Scion cab that smelled of old socks and clove.
3. I spent more on cab rides today than I would have spent on gas to drive here (close anyway).

So now I'm getting ready to call it quits tonight, I'm

1. Thanking my lucky stars for that package of sanitizing wipes.
2. Cheering that I remembered to buy those little packets of travel Tide.
3. I have free internet, so I can tell you all about my excitement.

Now back to getting ready for the 0600 wake up call...er alarm.

Almost like going to work...more later.

Just a hint

Dear Floor Nursing Peeps:

When you invite the big cheese of the unit to a meeting and he/she offers to buy pizza for everyone, do not freak said chief out by bringing the labor relations staff member to the meeting.

He will eat more pizza than everyone, even though he looks pretty skinny.

Just a thought for next time...

Still really a RN (even if some of you don't believe it),

RehabRN

Sweetness

Salted caramel cupcakes from my traveling partner. They came from a new store down the street from the Hotel.

You made my day, along with T., who bailed me out of technical difficulties.

Yes, life is indeed sweet with friends like you.

Stay tuned...

The week begins...

I love graduate school when I have a group project due on Monday. It just gives that air of despair to your day knowing you're working at work when you could be cleaning up your project and getting a good grade.

Anywho...work can be fun, if you let it. Lots of oddball things going on.

First, Mr. Motorcycle came in to see some people. Then he asked me if the social workers might know where he can get his fishing license (yes, the day after this starts). I know, I'm thinking, "Yeah, if I were a patient, I'd ask the first nurse I saw how to get a fishing license." I passed this ball to my interdisciplinary team member, Mark, the recreation therapist. (The social worker has too much to do right now).

Yes, the unit's still shaken by the antics of the psychotic patients. My favorite one is the patient (schizophrenic) who truly believes his wife is here to pick him up and take him to their home. You guessed it. Mr. Xyz hasn't had his own home in years. Maybe it's time for some more of this injection right about now.

Our other resident with similar psychiatric issues won this handy, dandy drug. He still thinks we're all out to get him, but maybe with the rest of his cocktail, he'll level off soon.

And if that wasn't the icing on the cake, I somehow shorted my iron. Yes, I know, ironing is so old fashioned, but I appreciate the therapeutic benefits of ironing (repetition, steam, accomplishment). Now I'll have to stop by a real store (or look online) for a fancy one. 

It's never a dull moment here, so stay tuned...

My mantra

It's a short week this week, it's a short week this week, it's a short week this week....

Hopefully, this will keep me going.

Stay tuned.

It's all Nurse K's fault...

That I had flashbacks to one of my favorite fuzzy memories of Saturday Night Live. This guy used to have my late father in stitches whenever he showed up, and adjusted the belt.



Nurse K: I like Mr. Bill, too, almost as much as these two characters. Excellent!

Enjoy the weekend, folks, wherever you are.

Party on!

Never forget

That when we lose members of the military, they often leave families behind. Don't forget them.

Braydon's story - updated (from www.cnn.com)

The best and worst of the week

What a week it was and I can say I am happy, happy, happy it's over. TGIF!

It wasn't just the weather in RehabLand that got exciting. The mood on the unit was the same tempestuous mix of turbulence that was the weather pattern in our neck of the woods.

One minute, a patient is telling a student that he/she was physically assaulted by a staff member. No signs, symptoms, or witnesses, but some of our staff members got long weekends, courtesy of administrative leave. I am sure our charge nurse is glad this week was over after that reason alone.

On the subject of psychotic patients...one word: ugh! Thank goodness for security support and the folks who mark patient records for illness and non-compliance with little things like psychotic episodes of verbal abuse of staff and then they get them out of the neighborhood when they clearly don't see the sign going into the parking garage that says "No weapons of any kind allowed on this property. (including a nice drawing of a handgun and a big knife)"

Yes, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 if you violate this rule.

It's not really psychosis, but technical difficulties occasionally bring out the weirdos on our staff. I'm so glad our support person got ours sorted out or I would have had my face planted in the wall permanently after trying to keep people from wigging out over really relatively minor items that did have workarounds.

But, despite many of these things that were downright horrible, there were good moments.

One of my favorites was the look of excitement of one of the patients who just got up for the first time after flap surgery. When I showed him the new big screen TV in our lounge in the lobby, you'd would have thought I told him he won the lottery. It was a lot of fun for him to sit in front of a big TV after being sick so long and trapped in a room with a little TV.

Another one of our patients wandered by and was worried that he was getting sick. We got him in a clinic to see our docs, but now he has to have tests. He was worried, but we talked about them, and his strategies for coping with things at home. I even called one of our team to get him a consult for when he comes back for his next visit. He was delighted, and said, "I can't believe you'd do that for me." I just said, "That's my job...keeping us all employed helping you." and smiled. He just laughed. I also got to make sure the transport people picked him up to go home, so I was busy!

And some of my projects I've been working on got rolling this week after, literally months in process.  Oh, joy, joy, joy! I may actually get something done this year.

Indeed, it was the best and worst of times, but happily, the best outnumbered the worst today.

More to come...

Is the moon changing?

Maybe not according to these folks, but you would have thought otherwise recently at the Hotel.

The big cheese of Madison actually replied to an e-mail I sent to him. We're getting all progressive and the Manglement is trying to "do a system redesign and talk to the people who do the work." I nearly fell over, since he actually asked me for feedback on one of the SU's projects.

The patients, however were not patient. One character was just not happy. One minute, he was mad. Then he was sad. This repeated  over and over again for a while. Somehow I wonder if that lithium was really working.


Another character was about ready to turn vigilante on me on the parking lot. Mr. Explodo was really agitated when some of our fine (and incidentally, not visibly disabled) Madison employees parked right in front of the building in the handicapped spot. Mr. E. got in front of the car in his wheelchair to wait for security and the driver nearly ran him over. Just makes me wonder...ugh!

Thankfully, Mr. B. was a bright spot on my schedule. He came to his appointment in a cheerful mood and he was happy to work with us. It was bliss!

I wish I could order a few more like him. Stay tuned...