I need a t-shirt that says

"I survived jury duty". I did. I did. I did.

What did I miss in the years I did not get called and picked to serve on a jury? Not much.

A few things I learned though, were very important.

1. Don't let your lawyer clown it up on the opening arguments. He/she should be reasonable and convincing, but bouncing binders in front of the jury to get their attention is not the way to do that. It gave me a headache.

2. Tell the truth. Or at least be expected to use the same story over and over. You know that oath "thingy"? Yes, it applies to you.

3. Related to #2, never swear that you never use the phone. There are records.

4. Don't hire one of your own employees to serve as your "expert witness". It is a little thing called conflict of interest for him/her to participate.

5. Don't repeatedly say your client knows nothing about business, because he/she has been at it for a few years...like 40. Despite everything, the business is solvent, so who's at the wheel?

6. Always be explicit. Some folks, for whom English is a second language, may not understand things that are implied, especially in e-mails.

7. Don't use easels to display e-mail quotes that you've circulated ad nauseum in the courtroom. I got tired of looking at your not-so-hot quotes on foam board.

And finally, one of the most important things I learned from jury duty:

Take every moment you can to enjoy a moment outside in the sunshine. You will never get enough of those. Criminals and crazy relatives tend to stick around, but sunshine doesn't, so enjoy it while you can.

More to come...

It's almost a full moon...

However, the calendar says we're a week early.

You would have thought it was with the sophomoric antics of some of our supposed "professional", long tenured staff.

I am starting to think that the best and the brightest leave because this guy's book title is indeed true. Why be exceptional when mediocre will do just fine?

Might as well give up and bay at the moon early.

Stay tuned.

Winding down

Ah, so glad the week is nearly over. It's been taxing with this random assorted virus I have--one moment constant nose running, another coughing. I can't wait until it's run its course and is over.

Ice, snow and mayhem have come to RehabLand. Why do sane looking people think it's okay to try to do 80mph down a snowy road with black ice and winds at 30-40 mph? People died here on the roads today. So glad I don't have to drive where these crazies are. I wish my boss understand why I want to telecommute (yes, I can!) on days like today.

I'm happy despite the snow and biting cold. My people in our sister hospitals are finally back from vacation! (only took what seemed to be a month). They are answering e-mails AND participating. Joy, joy, joy! I am thrilled. And, yours truly did her first group presentation, to a group of nurses all over the place via computer. It was very, very cool.

Bubba and I enjoyed playing in the snow with WildDog when work and school was done. It was the highlight of my day.

More to come...

Bed-lam

Yes, I'm being silly after my most recent evening shift because I can. I feel fortunate that I left with my mind reasonably intact to drive home.

It's not even a full moon, but the crazies are out. We must be running a special, and while we're not a polytrauma unit, we keep getting TBI patients, who just came off one-to-one status. We don't have enough regular staff, nor PRN agency staffing, like the mothership, but they can send us people and suddenly, they don't need that one-on-one anymore. Hmm, must be a lot of miracles going on these days at Madison. The only miracle I see is the patient leaving one place for another (our little unit).

The crazies aren't actually the TBI people. Happily, they've been quiet. The crazies are our regular, crochety characters who really need to go home. They're bored, so they create problems to get attention diverted to them from other patients.

One regular decided his bed was too hard. (Remind you of someone...maybe Goldilocks?) We called the bed vendor. They check out fancy low air loss mattress on the bed. Bed works based on all their requirements. Patient waits until bed vendor is gone. Patient goes crazy, rings lights, spews expletives and acts all sorts of silly, just below the level where we can call security and get him some nice Haldol (a spray can of that would have been a delight). Charge nurse had to get one of our regular beds and plop Crochety on it, so he'd finally be quiet, for a moment. He continued to be a regal pain all night, for one reason or another. Sometimes, I think this patient did this because he was genuinely bored and it is truly a control issue.

My patients were reasonably good, but I always wonder why the boss gives me the assignment I get. It never ceases to amaze me that I get an assignment to give out pills to half the unit and try to feed two people at once.

Besides Mr. Crochety, we had a guy get unstable on us, so he took an ambulance trip. He was diverted from the hospital we intended to send him to, so the charge had fun getting with the ambulance crew to find out where indeed he was, since she had no idea to whom to give report. Turns out this patient verbalized chest pain and they pulled off and got him to the closest hospital en route instead of trying to get him to Madison.

I ended the night by finally doing all of my charting. I usually chart as I go, but there was no way to do that on that shift. Finishing with my faculties intact was enough relief for me.

Stay tuned...who knows what wild and crazy stuff the weekend will bring!