Heard on the unit

In this first of the year installment, I didn't have to do much to hear some pretty interesting comments. Happily, there is no smellavision (yet) on the internet or some of these would be harder to bear.

"The first time I smelled Jack Daniel's (whiskey) I thought it was my grandmother's perfume." Picasso

Picasso's not his real name, but this guy is one of our regular artists in residence. No, he didn't get any big honors like our other guy who got to be a VIP late last year, but he's always got something new going on, like his secret pastel drawing in the sketch book.

He keeps making drawings for some of the nurses, so I guess I'm going to have to commission something from him to get one myself. This one about Picasso's Granny just happened to pop up as we were talking about French-Canadians. I guess Granny liked the taste of Jack to some old silly perfume!

"I like it up here at the penthouse level (waving his hand in front of his nose)." Mr. VIP

Somebody was emitting noxious odors in VIP's room, so to get away from it, he had someone raise up his bed about 4 feet off the floor, which is pretty far away from that nursing standard of a "locked and low bed."

"It's all in the technique, folks, all in the technique." Mr. AMA
Yes, Mr. AMA returned to us again to get healed up and promises not to leave AMA this time. (just like the last few times...) AMA's nurse and I tried to get him positioned right to go to x-ray and he bellyached until one of the nursing assistants reoriented his pillow, hence the quote. (The NA got it just right!)

"W., it's been nice knowing you. I'm leaving here for good. Dr. T. won't let me smoke. Screw him!" Ms. Cig
Ms. Cig did not agree to not smoking on our unit, so she asked for and got transportation back to her home. (Note: our boss does not let patients with pressure sores smoke.) She was so happy to get her carton of cigarettes back on her way out the door, that she disappeared and had a smoke before the ambulance came to pick her up. It didn't help that they were over an hour late!

It's back to the old grind tomorrow. Stay tuned!