Need a resolution for 2012?

I looked at what my previous resolutions were (yes, I keep track right here on ye olde blog) and surprisingly, the Resolution Randomizer was still active and so I gave it a whirl.

Why make up resolutions you won't keep? I might get something that could stick. Here's what I got.

I, RehabRN, hereby resolve to...

Never try drinking coffee in the refrigerator. 
 (No chance, I left Mickey D's lifetimes ago...)

Try to avoid thinking in front of my boss.
(I already do this one...although I'm a horrendous poker face as Mitch, my training cohort, tells me)

Talk about sharing absurd stories in my car.
(Another tough one...what will I do on that car trip through New Mexico this year?)

Justify my love of eating breakfast with my family.
(Bubba loves breakfast, so this is a slam dunk!)

Abstain from managing my money in the office.
(I usually do this at home, anyway.  One I can actually do!)

Finally stop hiding staplers in the break room.
(Now EVERYONE knows...ugh!)

Stop kissing butt in the morning.
(Check. Even better reason to be surly to the Slug!)

Finally stop thinking in the bathroom.
(Not sure this will ever happen...remember me and Winston from that bathroom reading post?)

Consider singing Neil Diamond outside. 
(Great! Now Sweet Caroline keeps going through my head…)


I'm ready, Twenty twelve. Come on down!

And for all my people in the Hotel (and every other hospital) I pray that all your patients be wonderful today and sleep at the right times.

See you next year, friends.

Seven survival skills

Stuff I've taught Bubba over the Christmas break from school so far...

1. This is a washing machine. This is how the clothes go in (adding detergent, etc.) I don't know if he's old enough for it to stick, but it can't hurt trying.

2. This is the dryer (refer to #1).

3. These are sharp knives. Be careful (as I nick my finger with the chef's knife I just got sharpened today.)

4. While Mom and Dad drive old cars, you need to know how to get out when the doors are locked. These old fashioned things are called buttons. Pull them up to get your door unlocked. If that doesn't work, slide across the seat to the other door. Voila! It opens (even if it sets off the alarm). Do not sit unattended in the car  in the driveway and cry when you can get yourself out.

5. This is a key. It opens the door. Use it.

6. Life is too short not to have pumpkin pie, cookies and cakes for the holidays. Be certain to add in a few fruits and vegetables, too.

7. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be kind. Say please and thank you. And tell your family and friends you love them when you see them. You may not get a second chance.

I'm on vacation...

But my mind drifts, here, there and everywhere.

I talked to one of my former coworkers, who is now a code monkey for a major health system here in RehabLand. Before you know it, I have a contact (actually four) for a project I'm doing at work.

The part I really love about being on vacation: cooking. I cook more when I'm on vacation than any other time. I have time to check my recipe books, plan, shop and actually cook. I've made soups, stews, cakes, pies and all sorts of other goodies while I've been on vacation. I even made my first duck dish.

My absolute favorite thing, though, is actually budgeting time for myself and doing what I plan: exercising and taking long baths. Yes, it may be terrible for the skin, but as Winston Churchill noted to one US president "I have nothing to hide." 

Just let me hide in the bathtub with a good book for a while, and all will be good.

Back to cooking. Bath (and book) to come...

Staycation excitement

It's just Bubba and me celebrating. He's out of school and we're enjoying our time together.

Today, we had to do the playground marathon. We checked out every playground (that wasn't locked up) within three miles and enjoyed the nice, if chilly weather. There were very few other kids out, so Bubba had the playgrounds to himself. It was lots of fun.

After our playground marathon, we went inside to get a hot chocolate, strolled around one of our local malls, and then went to the library. We both got books, came home, and read for the rest of the afternoon.

Bubba said, "This was a really fun day." It surely was!

More to come...

Yes, you can

You can, now buy everything at Costco. Chips, dips, even caskets.

Does your PCP need to get into the 21st century and get an electronic health record (EHR) just like the Hotel and all the other big hospitals? If so, have him/her head on over!

Must be in aisle 2014...stay tuned.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

An oldie but goodie! Thank you to all the folks working on the holiday and throughout the holiday season. I raise my glass/coffee cup/beverage of choice, to you!


Enjoy!

Twas the Night Before Christmas -A Nursing Version
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the floor
Lasix was given, filling foleys galore.
Stockings were worn to prevent emboli,
they came in two sizes, knee and thigh high.

The patients were nestled half-@$$ed in their beds,
while visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
Fashion created to hide extra pounds.

When down in the ER it became such a zoo,
they called with admissions for me and you.
They're coming, they're going, and they're all looking the same.
My patience for patients is starting to wane.

Now call lights are ringing, the patient 400 pounds,
says "Didnt get my pericare, send my nurse now".
And now delegation seems the best plan,
We try to send others, for the needs of this man.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa himself and 8 tiny reindeer.
Hey says he comes from Central Supply.
To bring us LR, NS, & D5.

The doctors then scribbled what no one could read.
Orders on patients, to measure their pee.
We try to decipher illegible words,
orders for patients, to guaiac their turds.

The new shift arriving, our day is now through,
How did stool & emesis get in my shoe?
We give them report and pass on the facts,
and tell them of duoderm lining the cracks.

And the nurses exclaim as they limp out of sight,
"Ativan to all, and to all a good night".

Reminscing...

Here at the RehabRN household, we've gotten into the mechanics of the holidays. When I was a kid, that meant Mom had to clean the house and get all the boxes out of storage. The large box was the Christmas tree and the smaller one, the rotating musical tree stand that played Jingle Bells.

We had an aluminum Christmas tree for many years. One of my favorite memories was to turn the tree on, get the color wheel on it, open the drapes, turn off the inside lights, and look at the tree from outside. My siblings and I always wanted to stay out forever, but Dad wouldn't let us, so we indulged ourselves by turning on the tree stand and lying under the tree, watching it as it rotated and ornaments passed us overhead. I spend many a Christmas season hearing Jingle Bells under the tree.

Today, the tree and the stand are long gone. I don't decorate to the extent Mom did, but I like to have friends and family over and cook. After all the cooking is done, I'm busy cleaning and getting ready. Bubba still believes in Santa, but as he gets older, it's harder. We just tell him Santa really does read his Amazon wish list (since he usually gets what's on it)

One Christmas was especially memorable. I remember the Christmas when I was a new nurse, one of my patients rode around in his wheelchair in a Santa hat. His room was covered in Christmas cards from everywhere, because his wife, a writer, got her clients his address and the mail room was inundated with mail for him daily. His family was nice, especially his wife, and she brought us a cherry whip dessert that was her family's holiday tradition. We had a whole lot of snow, and luckily, no one called out. Even though I had to work, it was fun.

Fast forward to this Christmas season. In between, Santa Hat man died on Groundhog Day the next year, which was a horrible shock to us. Writer Wife had a rough time dealing with it all and her own health issues, too. We kept in intermittent contact. Things started getting better. She started writing again after a long hiatus.

Writer Wife wrote on her web site recently, "Merry Christmas all. Meet my new husband, who was a childhood friend." They are as happy as can be.

Christmas wishes still come true, if you only believe. Enjoy your holidays, and make memories wherever you are!

Dear Nationally Known Credit Card Company

Thank you for your fraud alert, just as I'm finishing up the Christmas donations online that I've finally had time to do. For the second year in a row, I got to call you and your representatives to get the okey-dokey to complete my online elf work.

I'm not upset, mind you, but maybe you could put in my profile the charities listed? I donated to them last year, too.

Thanks for keeping an eye out on me this time of year, especially when I run amok with donations to charity (which is what I save up all year to do). I appreciate someone looking out for my spending patterns.

And Merry Christmas to all of you in the land of cacti.

Sincerely,

RehabRN

The Digital Nativity Story

The kids were very entertained by this at Bubba's Christmas pageant.



Yes, indeed, things would be different!

I'm on the A list!

And it's not on Southwest Airlines, either. Finally got the grade I've been waiting for all semester.

Yes, indeed, this will be a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. Not long now...I'm in the home stretch!

More to come...

Money falling from the trees?

No, I'm not nuts, it is nuts. Pecans that is.

Those tasty morsels in your holiday pecan pie are worth plenty in the current market, since there is a shortage this year.

So, to celebrate the delivery of two brand new kitchen appliances (since both of mine died right before Thanksgiving--the dishwasher and the refrigerator) I'm baking away.

However, the pecan pie may have to wait a bit.

Stay tuned! It really is nuts out there.

Blue Christmas

It's not because I'm upset but that's describing my Christmas sock collection! For many years, as a kid and as a nurse, I've had to wear uniforms. So when they don't specify what kind of socks you can wear, I get creative.

And the rest of the year I wear compression hose, so I can make all the patients wear theirs when they get frisky and refuse...er decline!

Don't leave home without festive (and comfortable) feet!

The gift

Recently, I was talking to a friend while I was tooling around for my birthday. I had not seen her in a long time. I found out a physician I worked with (a friend of her family's due to a hereditary neurological disease) had asked her mother to donate tissue upon her death.

D. is  from a large family (over 10 children) in a rural middle of the country state. Mom is still doing her own thing at nearly 90. She does, however, have several of her children as her healthcare POAs. D. was unsure about Mom and the donation.

Since I know D. has the same disease as Mom, we talked about Dr. S. and the research in her lab and the family dynamic. D's elder sister (who is one of only two children who live near her mom) is absolutely against any donation for scientific purposes.

I listened and D. asked what she should do. I simply told her, "D, you need to talk to mom and if necessary, have Dr. S. do the same. She has already put a name and a face on this disorder you have through her cooperation with the global research team Dr. S. works with. It is her choice, but she needs to know that when she dies she can leave you and the rest of your family a gift. The gift of material for researchers to work with in their labs. Someday, your grandchildren may one day get a vaccine that would assure the great-grandchildren and their children never suffer what you do because of Mom."

I know it is hard, but I hope she will understand. It is a gift that no one else can possibly give in the near future.

Unfortunately, for D., one sibling thinks this will delay the funeral, cause them to not have an open casket and be upsetting to the other children. This sibling also "thinks doctors are all quacks." To add insult to injury, D's sibling did not inherit the disorder she and four of her other siblings have.

I'm just hoping this holiday season, Mom comes to realize, through my friend, Dr. S., or through one of her other children and grandchildren the potential of the gift.

There really is a Santa Claus

1. Congress passed a budget extension. Guess they were afraid of what might happen on Christmas morning. (or Hanukkah, which is even closer, or Kwanzaa...pick your day).

2. Some people don't just go out and give in the traditional ways. They drop in from no where and make it happen.

3. Even if you can't give a lot, you can make a difference.

To top it off,  my group won the Hotel holiday decorating contest with a wild idea from up north. Yes, sirree!

Mr. Marine, you've got it right, it is a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a Maximus Festivus here in RehabLand.

WTF, part 67

Dear Congress:

I'm getting really steamed about this "ending earmark" crap on TV. You know, those commercials that  most of you (who aren't in Iowa campaigning) are making to "protest" this, that and the other thing. The part that is most annoying is that lil' ol' government shutdown thing. Yes, you millionaires are fine and dandy, but some of us at the Hotel have bills to pay and no Uncle Mitt to pay them if we get furloughed (which is really a dream, since nurses are essential personnel).

I'm really thinking about telling some of our patients (and their cohorts) to leave you some naughty children surprises, and while it might be dark, it ain't coal.

Here's hoping you, as the Brits so eloquently say, "Get a finger out" and get back to work and solve all this budget shenanigans.

Remember, Santa is watching.

Sincerely not,

RehabRN

'Tis the season part 2

Yes, it's the holiday season here at the Hotel, and no one is afraid to say "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hannukah," "Happy Kwanzaa," or "Festivus Maximus", 'cause we have people who say, "Damn it, I'm gonna say whatever I want and who's gonna stop me?"

"No, Mr. Old Marine," I say. "You've fought for your right to wish people merry in the jungles of Vietnam. I most certainly will not stop you from spreading the joy, sir! BTW here's another cookie." (as he covets the lovely plate I had in my hand from one of our volunteers.)

And when I'm not entertaining all the folks awaiting their rides and the volunteers singing Christmas carols in the lobby, I decided to go to the Madison Christmas party, which the bigwigs decided to hold in the psych dining room. What fun!

Thankfully, Nurse Bobby, our resource nurse of the day and I didn't get stuck listening to much of the new assistant director's "happy holidays, let's take care of patients and be excellent" speech. The cake and punch line was long, and everyone was all excited about the prizes. It's actually not a bad deal. Each employee's name is put in for a gift and our unit actually won some (usually the psych people always  win...lucky stiffs!) Bobby and I ended up carrying the loot back for our a few of our coworkers.

So what did they win, Pat. Let me tell you...you could tell we work at a hospital with caffeine deprived people. They had not one, not two, not three but six coffee pots as prizes. The dietitians obviously won't be doing a "Healthy Choices" seminar with the staff anytime soon, because they also gave  away three home-sized deep-fryers, one of which went to one of our unit's nurses.

More fun as the week goes on, with even more parties next week. I'd better get those scrubs out now just to be ready.

Stay tuned...

Thoughts after finishing customer service training

1. You need a medical professional (or rotating staff member) to teach this class. Bonus points though to our guy who actually quoted the Readers' Digest article jo was featured in...see the civvies actually read some interesting stuff!

2. I learned more about dealing with other departments than anything. That was the most valuable.

3. Can I solve all problems? No. Will I say the right thing? Hopefully. I put that card and magnet at my desk. Heaven help me when I'm loose on campus.

4. I'm hoping I might be able to use this information to get a panic button in my office. (Just in case I get a nuclear customer, like one of my classmates. I had one in a previous clinic job.)

5. And finally, thanks to Nurse K, I got this great link to Hood Nurse and here's her scenarios on how she'll put this valuable training into practice in the ER. You go girl!

If only I could use some of those ideas...enjoy!

I get the last laugh

Nitwit, the co-team lead for the last part of the semester with Silent Bob (he was too often quiet) drove me crazy during most of the semester. He/she thinks him/herself to be the world's greatest writer, which would be like saying Tattoo from Fantasy Island was the world's tallest man.

Nevertheless, Nitwit, who had always been looking for ways to thwart everything (and I mean everything) I put into our projects, decided he/she didn't want me to mention a particular industry tool in my section of the paper.

Much comment ensued, Nitwit went all ghetto (which is hard when you look like you just came from the Swiss Alps)and took out the information and substituted another generic info bit.

Needless to say, I was pretty perturbed last night. Since we have to write evaluations for the team leaders after each section, I was prepared to skewer him/her in them.

I decided not to today, as I was reading our classmates submissions and then re-reviewing ours.

Nitwit might have thought he/she removed all references to this item, but he/she missed one.And I chuckled to myself, "One day he/she will learn the proper ways to use find and replace in Word."

Karma's a bitch, baby, and she's got puppies...just sayin'!

The final countdown

No, we're not headed to Venus, but it sure seems like an extended odyssey. Still plugging away with the most sleep-deprived member of the team.

Should be an interesting day. Stay tuned.

One more day

One more day of grad school...one more day.

A lucky day

All they wanted for Christmas was to come home.



And in two short days, I'll have one Christmas wish of my own...a class that's over.

Have a great weekend, all!

Just lovin' it

Yes, in a mere three days I'll be done with the latest installment of my graduate education. And I have to say, I learned a lot. I learned that some people are just a pain in the arse. Yes, they are.

I thought we only hired non-professionals at the Hotel. No, kids, the non-profs are everywhere. What distinguishes them?

1. When you're supposed to function as a team and communicate with members who can't show up for meetings, you take minutes and post them before the next meeting.

2. You act like an adult.

3. You actually show up, and do some work.

and finally,

4. When you're assigned to be the leader, you lead. You don't goof off hiking in the woods when you're supposed to be responsible for an assignment (I wish that wasn't a real excuse...).

Now, I'm going to finish what I started, just like I said I would. And when I'm done, I'm gonna pray that we get a passing grade out of this one. I don't have a really good feeling.

Should make doing evaluations really interesting.

More on the way!

Nothing sweet

However, this gift, was definitely not sour. One of my coworkers from a previous job in another life, just saved MY butt and she's not even a nurse.

Thanks A.C. for all that help. I really, really appreciate it.

If my team doesn't like it, tough. Only four more days...I can make it!

Stay tuned.

No gold rings...

But in five days, this grad class will be over.

Maybe getting up early after staying up late will allow me to see any pinot grigio induced errors in our implementation plan.

Stay tuned...

Ringing bells

'Tis the season for bells ringing on television and out at your favorite stores by the Salvation Army.
 
And even a rehab nurse can find a topic of interest in the non-medical press. TBI is common among topics in rehab, mainly due to issues in young men and veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan.

In this week's NY Times, there's a series on hockey enforcer, Derek Boogaard, who often 'got his bell rung' in many, many hockey fights. Repetitive traumatic brain injury can cause chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

After reading this story, this is one bell I wish would not get rung.

More later...

Down the rabbit hole

Sometimes life surely seems that way. I've been busy doing this, that and the other thing and I feel so overwhelmed.

Just like being on the floor, you have to have a plan.

The current plan:

1. Orient the new boss. Nice character, so this should not be difficult. I like hands-on management, especially when I don't feel like I need to take a cultural orientation class to figure out what to do with them.

2. Orient my manager re: my new projects. I just love being an employee who reports to multiple people.

3. Work, work, work until the end of the semester for my grad class. So glad it will be done in just shy of one week.

Then this house really will be merry!

Stay tuned...