On New Year's Eve...

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. --Brooks Atkinson

Hope you enjoy your night wherever you are!

I am showing my age..

I feel sorry for the girl who actually brought Joan Rivers along to pick out her wedding dress.
Too bad an opinionated mother or sister wasn't enough. (head smack)

Back to reality, not TV...nursing a bunch of characters at the Hotel is WAY easier than dealing with Joan Rivers.

Stay tuned...

Points to ponder

Yes, it seems far away from nursing to talk about insider trading, but it's not really if you read this article.

Sure, those investment types are NOT supposed to take the advice of a doctor and go sell stocks, but they did. They made huge profits.

And it just reminds me what one of my old professors said eons ago. "Take a glass of water with you to every meeting. If they start to discuss insider trading or price fixing, accidentally spill said glass of water on yourself and walk out. Make sure this is recorded in the meeting minutes, or make a note to self."

Just in case the SEC and other sundry law enforcement folks come calling...

Just in case...

You missed the annual Yule Log available on many TV stations around the country today, roll on over to ye old computer and view it up close and personal here.

Enjoy!

Merry Christmas everyone!

 This song reminds me of my first Christmas away from home many years ago in England. Merry Christmas to all wherever you are today!

Ding dong! merrily on high
In heav’n the bells are ringing:
Ding dong! verily the sky
Is riv’n with Angel singing.

Gloria,
Hosanna in excelsis!

E’en so here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen,
And “Io, io, io!”
By priest and people sungen.

Gloria,
Hosanna in excelsis!

Pray you, dutifully prime
Your matin chime, ye ringers;
May you beautifully rime
Your evetime song, ye singers.

Gloria,
Hosanna in excelsis!

Mysteries to be solved

The message carried by a pigeon found in a chimney recently (from World War I) may have been solved.

The mystery as to why I couldn't register and get free registration (as promised) for a conference I'm going to go to next year was solved today. Thanks Stacy for getting that computer to work!

A mysterious sputtering ailment plaguing my aging car will be resolved (hopefully) tomorrow. I've been preparing my husband for car end-of-life all weekend. Sometimes, you have to know when to give up and let go.

And now I say good night, since I get to stand in all day for K., who will be home tomorrow with a very sick kid. If I don't do it, no one will.

Stay tuned...

The beginning, again

Grad school is over. I know one of my grades was an A for the semester. I'm awaiting sentencing on the other one. It's kind of odd to get too excited about graduation from a school that only has one annual commencement, when that's in May and you're finishing in December like me.

I've been called odd before. No sweat.

The beginning is my long-neglected exercise program and diet log. I have a snappy doo-dad on my computer to track calories, activities, and even glasses of water. It still remembers what I weighed when I tried this food tracking earlier this year.

I'm also beginning to evaluate what really needs to be cleaned in my house. After a couple of semesters of neglect (that shows), I'm going to have to bribe, er, train Bubba to do more housework for his allowance.

Should be an interesting time!

Stay tuned...

Is it the end?

It certainly is almost the end of the weekend and the end of the year. I will miss that, the weekend part, anyway.

WildDog is getting slower and more incontinent. Not sure when/if his end will come soon. I thought about it the other day when I wrote the Christmas letter. We have had WildDog since before Bubba was born, and he was about 5 years old when we got him. He is getting gray around his muzzle, too.

Even though, he's an old dog, he loves the head scratches and ear rubs.

My car is making all sorts of noises. Dahey is in charge of investigating that. What joy! It's older than Bubba and almost as old as WildDog.

I'm thinking it might be time to just buy a little compact to go back and forth to work, since I'm lucky enough to be close to the Hotel.

Plenty to think about...

It's Friday

And one day, I'm glad is over. My very last paper of grad school is finally done.

But nothing today could be as noteworthy (or notorious) as the school shooting in Connecticut today.

As a mother of a child who could have gone to school there (Bubba's the right age group), I am numb. Numb to think that someone would kill his mother, steal his brother's identity, then go and kill as many as possible in an elementary school.

I could somewhat understand if the shooter chose adults with whom he had a grievance, but he did not. He killed defenseless little children.

Some things I just can't understand...the terror, the grief, the unspeakable sadness for families, first responders, for all the people of Newtown.

I will just pray. For all of them.

12...

12/12/12...a lucky day.

It just might be. I bought some lotto tickets, since this kind of day won't come around for another 100 or so years.

Might as well enjoy it while it's here! A beautiful day here in RehabLand.

Reality

Yes, it is 0430, and I'm up finishing this paper after my advisor gave me a scathing review of my draft.

I don't want to appear superficial when I've worked on this massive thing all semester...

Stay tuned.

I think I can, I think...

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.~ Marie Curie

One more week to attain...off I go!

Cross your fingers...

Trains

If I were a nurse educating you teenagers on the dangers of crossing at unmarked areas of the train tracks, I'd tell you this.

Yes, I have jumped a train. I grew up with the tracks close to my home. I jumped the tracks when the train staff helped me when a locomotive broke down on the tracks on the way to school. I never jumped a train on my own.

My parents grew up in the same area of the tracks, and they both had stories of maimed and dead friends from the neighborhood. One kid I knew, K., died when he was hanging out on a trestle one night and thought he could jump off it into the water below. He didn't make it.

It pains me to see the stories lately of the kids who die cutting over the tracks because they  left their earbuds in and the 60 mph train snuck up on them.

It doesn't have to be...be safe out there. Take off the earbuds, or leave one out so you can hear. Look both ways. If you must cross the tracks in an unmarked spot, run. Do not dawdle. Do not attempt to hurry if you have a cart or stroller or something else that might get stuck.

Take the long way and you just might live another day.

I'd rather not tell K's story again.

Why does this remind me of someone?

And I'm not even in the ER...

Another week in RehabLand...

And what a week it was! Lots of ups and downs, happiness and sadness. I got what I asked Santa for already: equipment and the start for a new clinic. And I got four pounds of espresso! Ho ho ho! I can't wait until clinic starts in the New Year.

At Madison, one of our doctors celebrated ten years at the Hotel. We finally got a new doctor to replace our last one who retired recently. Then our boss announced that he/she is taking a new job in a month, four hours away.

One of our staff complained of chest pains and got a cancer diagnosis instead once he/she was hospitalized.

School is on hold, I'm awaiting sentencing, as one of my old professors used to say. (Actually, he said waiting for the plea bargains....really miss that sense of humor.)

In a way, I feel the same. I'd like to plead for my sanity, but I'm just going to relax and see what happens.

More to come...

Sunday silly boy

Loving you is easy, Bubba. You are so funny! You burn so bright, you electrify...

Two weeks...

Yes, in two weeks, this odyssey will be over. No longer will I have to say, "No, I have to go home and study this weekend."

I am a little sad to leave, but not enough to stay. I have learned so much as I've gone along, that I still cannot believe that from the time I applied, got accepted to now that so much of my life has changed.

I am no longer a new nurse. I have grown in my practice. I have mastered much of one, and now, am learning another. My dreams from ages ago have actually come true

The genie is no longer in the bottle. The education I have has changed my job and my outlook.

Like the song says, I'm headed to the future...and I like it.

A topper

I really did think when I called my friend N. on the Left Coast, that I really did have a story that could top anything that happened to her.

N. is a manager of a Borg Pharmaceutical vendor, who will remain nameless.

My day was fine and dandy until Mr. and Mrs. Lost came to my door. I figured it was a simple, direct-them-to-the-SU kind of thing that normally happens. Nope.

Mr. Lost told me that he was going to kill someone. (Ding, ding, ding -- alarm bells) To top it off, he had a plan.

Hello...there went my beautiful boring morning. Calm Mr. and Mrs. Lost down and call the psych people.

No one is answering their phone. (Maybe that lunar eclipse thing messed them up?) So I went looking for the mental health staffers on our team. After much searching, I found one.

Mr. Lost stayed in my office while J., our mental health staffer, called the "Heightened state" team. Chief says, "Send Mr. Lost to the ER for evaluation."

Surprisingly, Mr. Lost was okay with that. J. stayed with him until the ambulance came. Mrs. Lost went home to collect some things and call Mr. Lost's daughter.

And so, J. had a teaching moment with the student today.

I'm so glad I got to be the lucky person...stay tuned for more.

Temps are dropping...

And they are calling for snow. I guess winter really is around the corner!

Bubba is asleep early. I hope none of his classmates shared any special viruses they got during Thanksgiving.

More to come...

Ah, a couple of days...

It just takes a couple of days away to really enjoy the start of the holidays.

Thanksgiving dinner was delightful. The day was sunny and the food all turned out really good. No politics was discussed at our dinner table (a major feat). We watched movies after lunch and just vegetated. (Thank goodness for the dishwasher!)

Black Friday came and went. I worked on a paper (I actually felt like writing) and Dahey and Bubba went shopping. Since most of the hardcore shoppers were out on Thanksgiving, it wasn't nearly as crowded. I did most of my shopping online. I did go to a store, but couldn't find anything I wanted.

The boys came home with an unusual present. They decided they needed a ukelele. (Dahey wanted a guitar, but didn't like the one he saw that was in the price range). The ukelele was in the price range and even came with a teach yourself DVD. Should be interesting to see if Bubba can get good enough to qualify for one of these scholarships. (Yes, there are scholarships for ukelele!)

Today, we're going to a local holiday fair and Bubba is excited. He knows the Santa there is not "real Santa" but he promises not to mess it up for the little kids.

Should be interesting...stay tuned.

Thanksgiving eve

Yes, this is the night yours truly spends chopping, slicing, dicing and baking. And vexing over a house that's never clean enough!

I have  decided to just go with the flow this year and live with it. Life is indeed too short.

Stay tuned.

Countdown

To turkey day and the bird is thawing in the fridge as we speak...

Sunday stealing

Ah, yes, the crazy meme blog. I've missed ye not because I didn't want to visit, but I've been busy.

Here are some good ones for this weekend here and my abbreviated version below.

What if you came across a backpack stuffed with one hundred thousand dollars. Would you keep it?

Heck no! I know exactly where they send you if you do, and it's not worth the sentence frankly. I would be trotting it to whomever owned it or the nearest police station--with a witness and I'd get a receipt.
 
What if you were the most powerful person in the world. How would you use that power?

Gee, so many things you could do. I'd probably start small and see what happens. World peace and ending starvation are pretty big tasks. I've always wanted to grow up to be a full-time philanthropist!
I have a list of people I'd like to meet and a list of people who I'd like to ask for advice. They're not the same for a reason.
 
What if you found a magic lamp?

Ask these questions my mother taught me: Does it go with the current decor? How much would it take to redo the decor so the lamp would fit?  What does the genie look like and what is his/her offer?

So many darned decisions. :)

What if the internet didn't exist? 

Ack! I'd still be in my very first job if it didn't. Or I'd spend lots of money on phone calls and expedited mail! And I would not be in the job I am in today. I did a lot of research on the internet before I became a nurse.
 
What if you never started blogging?

I would have never encountered some of the interesting people I've met online. Or I'd be in jail for killing some of the idiots I've worked with. Blogging is cheap therapy, kids.

Write out your frustrations, let go, keep growing and look back later. Evaluating yourself later is not a bad thing. It prompts something called growth.

What are your November 22 Thanksgiving plans?

Eat, drink and be merry (and I'll be cooking!) There is so much to be thankful for this year in spite of the craziness of the past year.

A special delight

The weather. Hey, it's cold, because winter  is really coming (barring no global warming) to RehabLand.

I ran around like crazy today filling in for a few folks AND doing my regular "yes, it's clinic day" and run all over the freaking place looking for patients and making copies.

But the special delight was a few of my patients. I had to do an two education sessions since today was the Great American Smokeout, I was worried during the second one when no one showed up.

I finally got two people --one clinic patient who watched my presentation just before his ride showed up and the other who I convinced to come in off the street following his therapy appointment.

Always a good day when people show up!

Stay tuned for more excitement in RehabLand...

A loss in the family

Some times, they say you spend so much time at work it's like your second home. And yes, sometimes that home is inhabited by some pretty dysfunctional family members.

But there are others who remind you of what working together is all about.

I should be finishing one of my very last grad school papers tonight, but I can't. We lost a member of our work family and frankly, I still can't believe it.

Eddy was a nurse who had worked at the Hotel (and Washington, our sister hospital) here in RehabLand for over 10 years. Eddy started out at the Hotel, and just thought he wasn't learning enough, so he transferred to Washington and worked in the ICU. He came back to the Hotel a couple of years ago, when he moved to the same neighborhood.

He had a grand old time there with those ICU patients and was known for having a easy, laid back humor. He could get riled up, but it was rare. If he were freaking out inside over a code or anything, he never showed it. He worked with a nurse in our clinic, K. and he always gave the two of us trouble when we were together. He'd say, "One of these days, I'm going to get my BSN and get a cushy job like you guys have." K. always said, "Eddy, come on down. I'll show you what this 'cushy' job looks like."

Eddy died today. He was on leave with his wife, since she had recently had a baby--their second. We threw a big shower for them days before she went into the hospital to be induced. They brought their older girl and we had a grand old time on the unit. We said, "See you when you get back...before the holidays" and meant it.

When I was in charge (I just like saying that, I'd joke to Eddy) with him on my crew, I never worried. Even though I had less experience, Eddy would ask for my advice. This floored me. "Eddy, why on earth are you asking me, you old ICU nurse?" He would also go home at lunch or dinner time to see his wife (they lived right near the hospital) or she'd bring his dinner to work.

Eddy would just say, "RehabRN, you know a lot, and I ask you to get the real dope on stuff." Guess that made me the "real dope dealer". (Eddy was fond of bad jokes!)

We're still waiting to find out for sure, but they suspect Eddy had some kind of cardiac issue, not unlike many of the patients he had cared for in the ICU. Eddy was reasonably young, didn't smoke, and wasn't overweight.

It's still hard to believe on such a beautiful clear, crisp day, on the cusp of the holidays, he was snatched away from us and his little family to meet his eternal destiny.

May the angels come to greet you, even though we mourn you who were taken away from us too soon. It was a pleasure to know you for the time we had been given.

Godspeed, friend.

It's almost like Christmas

When you actually clean out that closet in the office that was bursting at the seams. Here are a few of my finds in there today on my day off (I know, I just know how to have fun...)

• acceptance letter to nursing school
• computer tools I'd thought someone had taken
• a computer part I needed for Dahey (the one I bought at the dollar store broke in a week)
• my old laptop and other oddball computer parts
• wallet with my student ID from 2001
• and $6 cash

I didn't get everything done, but it was a success for me. And just about as good as Christmas.

More to come...the semester's slowly finishing. Another paper is nearly done.

For all our veterans today

Thank you for your service and for all those who have paid the ultimate price...because freedom is not free.

Finally, some research

This report, out of Norway, came out recently. As a longtime asthmatic, I am not surprised.

If Dr. R. wasn't retired, you can bet I'd bug him about this. I know my new doc will have something to say about it when I go visit him soon.

If you want more information on women and asthma, check out this WebMD page with lots of information.

That is all. Only a few days left in the semester and I need to catch up!

Stay tuned...

So, so glad

It's Election Day, a day we should thank our lucky stars that many veterans have fought and died for us to stand in line and vote for what we believe will make our lives better.

I'm also so happy that the robocalls will finally stop. It's so sweet when a call comes over and says "Political call" on the caller ID.

Quiet at dinner time? I can only hope...stay tuned!

One thing after another

I thought we'd chalk up all the weirdness last week to the full moon.

However, it surely was a crazy Monday...for teeth. I had two of my coworkers break one (or more) teeth today after start time.

Oh, right before open season. At least, they can start planning for some of that dental work ahead of time.

Back to work and what a welcome it was. Lots of happy campers...

Sandy's aftermath

Yes, cold can kill you...feeling for all those still reeling from Sandy's after effects.

Hallelujah!

One word: passed!

Yes, the corks will be flying soon! Was just too tired after the marathon journey yesterday to stay up and enjoy.

Now to finish the rest of the requirements. In the home stretch!

Once upon a time, not so long ago...

Oh, we're halfway there...
Oh, livin' on prayer...
We'll make it, I swear.

Here we go, folks. We have sunk years into this and we are GOING to make it. Bring on those comprehensive exams!

They came, they saw...

They took lots of pictures and they asked lots of questions. My doc for this clinic was stellar. He even remembered to keep his white coat on, which was hysterical. (Normally, he never wears his coat in the office.)

We had to wait a long while for the dignitaries to come through, so we asked the doc lots of questions. He told us his father was a military doctor who worked in a controlled area and never talks about his work.

My technical specialist, S., said "I did the same thing when I was in the military. I can't talk about it, either."

"Well, I won't ask any more, because I don't want to hear, 'if I tell you, I'll have to kill you.'" I told S.

The patient, Mr. Q., who was a "jungle grunt" in Vietnam (his words) says, "All they told me about this appointment was that I had to talk to people. Maybe I ought to leave."

"We're just being silly, Mr. Q." I told him. I'm not letting S. do anything to you or he doesn't get anymore Mountain Dew.

S. just smiled...and clutched his bottle close to his chest.

You just have to know what really makes people tick...and where their sense of humor lies.

Mr. Q. had a good time and told me he was going to stay in his room and rest this afternoon, in case he needed to sign any autographs later.

We had a good laugh.

And off I go to sleep. My destiny awaits (with a quick trip to PublicU).

No Sandy but...

When your advisor has to reform a panel so you can take your comps exams this week, since some of the folks are marooned on the East Coast, it makes you think.

1. Thank goodness I decided to go to PublicU, which, is not on the East Coast.

2. Thank goodness I thought ahead to buy plenty of beer right now, since I'm having one to calm my already frayed nerves.

What could fray one's nerves? Oh, showing up at work surely could especially when...

1. You still have mayhem with some others in your group who keep insisting on reliving it no matter what.

2. You get a phone call that a VIP delegation will be coming to Madison and you really have to show them what you do in the SU...and have a patient ready at 0900 for the VIP to talk to about your work.

So much for a relaxing, just get things done before I leave to go to comps Hell at PublicU.

Nothing a nice Kolsch can't solve at the moment...stay tuned.

A little break

And while I was doing that I got flashbacks to the old days when I worked in marketing. First when I saw this new Adobe commercial and then later when I saw this classic IBM ad on buzzword bingo (which we actually played at one firm).



Fun times....stay tuned.

Best discussion I've heard at a conference in a while

I should have been studying, but I committed to this conference six months ago.

They were talking about alternative medicine in this local nursing conference and Wahoo NP was talking about O cream, which I had never heard of before (take 2 Viagra compounded into a neutral base cream and voila!)

Her quote, "Doc, it doesn't matter what you're saying. What you're really doing with that O cream is teaching them how to masturbate."

No one was napping after lunch with comments like that zinging around the room.

The sun will come out tomorrow...

Yes, my life is still crazy. My exams really are in one week.

Methinks I'll have to hold off on posting until they're over because I feel so overwhelmed between work and this looming test. Or not. Decisions...

I've only worked YEARS on my own time for this moment.

At least, I had a good day. Still have the a-holes giving me trouble. I went to spineless boss and said, "You're his/her boss. You need to handle it." (Can't believe I did that, but I was really irate at the petty cr&p)

On a bright, shiny note, our area chief nurse at Madison nominated me for an award. It really is a big hairy deal if I make it all the way through the 13 levels my chief's essay has to pass--hospital, region, witch doctors, then the big kahuna. (okay, no witch doctors...)

We'll see...as they say, it is an honor to be nominated. Frankly, I thought I was getting in trouble!

Stay tuned...

The joy of Bubba

We had Bubba's first parent-teacher conference of the year recently. It was a hoot.

This year, Bubba is in the big kids section of the LocalWarHero elementary school on the second floor (this is a nice building built in the early 1970s but with frequent updates so it looks pretty decent compared to my 1940-something bomb shelter looking grade school).

His teacher Mrs. G. is a riot. You can tell she's an old pro because one, she doesn't get upset that he's a rambunctious boy. Two, she's figured out how to harness that energy to learn. Bubba has taken it upon himself to study everything about the elections and he can tell you the who/what/where of all the candidates from president to municipal dog catcher (wait, we don't vote on that one anymore).

Three, unlike many of Bubba's other teachers, she doesn't tell us anything is wrong with him, she tells us how to manage his habits in the classroom and that it seems like we're doing a good job of that at home. "He is kind and a joy for everyone to be around."

He's pretty smart, since he's also figured out how to mess up the computerized tests by answering incorrectly on purpose. The test gets done faster, too, she said. (Can't say he's not efficient!)

Overall, compared to last year, Mrs. G. is a breath of fresh air. She really IS a professional teacher who knows how to get kids to learn.

More to come...

The good, the bad, the ugly

The good: the sun eventually came out today. The torrents of rain ended before I was ready to leave the Hotel.

The bad: I had to send my slightly squirrely EKG to my provider today. She never called me back, so I take it that it wasn't anything major.

The ugly: The ways people from our interdisciplinary team manage to talk about how nursing is "so unprofessional" and maybe we need training.

I really wanted to bang my head on the table. Why not? It's just another form of not-so-subtle nurse bashing.

And I get to be the battering ram before our group at an area meeting tomorrow. Nice.

I'm taking backup.

To be continued...

Why Bubba's getting an upgrade

To reflective tape on his Halloween costume this year. Just so no one mistakes him for a skunk.

What.The...?

More to come...

Sunday vegetating

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.~ Bertrand Russell

Sometimes I just have to remember Bubba is growing up. He makes me laugh so much. He really is becoming a tween before my very eyes.

We plan on having lots of fun jumping in piles of leaves and doing nothing today with Dahey.

I need a little break after a marathon conference call  with my classmates yesterday.

Stay tuned...

Now, for something completely different...

Yes, I can tell from the word play on this theme from an old SNL episode that my husband Dahey is a punny sailor.

More to come...

Not passive, but definitely agressive

Oh, it was such a delight to read an e-mail with lovely things like this:

"Don't we already do this?"
Yes, but not the way the main office says we will do it.

"Does it make our staff look incompetent?"
Not if you aren't already, and with e-mail like this, I wonder.

"..prime therapy time stolen"
FYI this is for aquatherapy...for which only certain Hotel patients qualify. Yes, I'm asking for that time (around an hour) so I'm that time thief.

So being a good team member, I bounced this to a couple of nurses at another two hospitals in the system.
Their answers when I gently mentioned the time conflicts were similar:

"Yes, we had the same thing until the chief medical officer had a chat..."
"Once they knew we were really going to do it and not back down..."

And after I recovered from the shock, I asked whether it would be okay with these folks to bring along two of the people who helped me write the bulk of the process documentation at the request of the boss.

I loved the response to that. My reason: share and share alike (if there going to try to take me down, I'm bringing my own backup...)


"Not sure what that has to do with explaining the reason for the change."

It will be interesting to see what happens at our meeting. Stay tuned. TGIF!

Teamwork...not!

How's this for teamwork....

1. Boss tells you, "I'll handle that." and proceeds not to do what you ask him (communicate).

2. So, doing the job your boss asked you to do, you send an e-mail to all the affected parties for further feedback and updates on the plan Boss asked you to implement.

3. One of the teams sends a very inappropriate e-mail with feedback, then demands your presence at their next team meeting.

4. Boss also mentions that he/she will go with you to meeting.

5. Since you thought this was a team project all along, you invite some of the other folks who helped you work on the plan.

6. Said team (who wants you at the meeting) says, "Why do they have to come?"

7. You kindly reply that you thought an interdisciplinary team was just that...an interdisciplinary team.

And pray, that your boss will actually show up for said meeting since you think he'll just ditch everyone and leave you out in the cold.

We shall see...so much for team cohesiveness in RehabLand.

Heard on the unit

I love the random comments and compliments I hear right up at the front of the SU.

"You don't need anything? You mean you're going to do whatever it takes? Okay. If I can help you, I will". --TechnoWizard

If he/she only knew how many silk purses (as a nurse) I've been forced into, sometimes I feel like MacGyver. Do not leave any loose wire or chewing gum near me, or never complain, never explain might be more appropriate.

"Cool! You get all the good stuff." --Mr. X.
As I told TechnoWizard, I show all the geek patients the technology (no matter what it is) whenever it's in the SU. They enjoy the distraction.

"I'm getting paroled."--Mr. P.
Mr. P. says he sees people that look familiar from his days working the transit beat. Sometimes, he says the darnedest things.

"I'm sorry." --Dr. Snitty
This doctor is rarely apologetic about anything. It was nice to catch him/her in a good mood today.

I love chocolate, so...

I really loved this article I saw today about the Nobel Prize winners for economics (aka the dismal science).

One of them obviously, Alvin Roth, is not dismal at all...rather funny. He posted about Nobel prize winners and chocolate, then had to post a note Monday that his blog post would be delayed. (Maybe due to a really early wake up call).

I've always wanted a cattle prod

But, alas, they are not FDA approved.

However, maybe the Manglement at the Hotel will advocate for our patients to start wearing sets of these so they do pressure relief when they're rolling around the unit.

I'm sure those docs in Calgary already thought of the cattle prod and got shot down, too. Shout out to my peep Ray-Ray and his family. (I sure miss P. and the stories about Timmy's and your orders just "appearing" when you walked in.)

I love the last line...all you rehab peeps know they HAD to say this or they'd short staff us all.

That is all...back to grad school madness.

Never leave anyone behind...

I was a little busy last weekend, so I missed this story, but it reminds me why I do what I do.

Here come the Marines to make sure one little boy isn't left behind on his mission.

The clock's ticking...

And in less than a month, I'll be on a jet plane, flying in to take my comprehensive exam at PublicU.

This is how I'm feeling right now, since this voyage is nearly over. And if I had my way, I'd enjoy every minute.

Just a little anxious now...

If your eye is your problem

The gospel passage says, "pluck it out."

Well, Mr. Q. already had his out. His prosthetic eye was at home when he was hospitalized at Saintarama before he come to the Hotel. One of his relatives just brought it over recently.

I've dealt with lots of prosthetics of all sorts for patients since I've come to RehabLand. Since we haven't had any eyes in quite a while, it made quite an impression in our weekly meeting, since many of the nursing and non-nursing staff we have (who are new) hadn't seen any, either.

Thank goodness Mr. Q. has a sense of humor. I like him already.

Stay tuned...

Just maybe...

These guys can get us a clock with the correct time or that rascally quantum computer I was always hearing about as a kid on every sci-fi show out there.

Happy Nobel Prize season all!

Back to work....

Thanksgiving...

Yes, it really is Thanksgiving today if you live in Canada (yes, and a happy day to all my friends up there, bisous to all!)

I'm just thankful that this beautiful Monday is a day of vacation for me. After all the excitement with the Dahey tribe in-laws and outlaws, it was a crazy busy weekend attending Deity Doctor Brother's daughter's wedding. Katie is a lovely girl.

I have come to the conclusion that if Dahey had to pack for the entire family, we would not have a thing. When I have to pack for the entire family in one short evening between meetings, I'm bound to forget something. All Dahey had to pack for himself was a tie (since he never likes the ones I pick out).

Well, we get to Appointed Electric Brother's house (who's having a party for all of us who weren't invited to Deity Brother's party--since we are all technically relatives of the bride) and he tells me, "I forgot my tie."

In my haste to get out of the house after leaving work a bit early I forgot something, too. All of my makeup. Yes, this assured my early AM trip to the nearest drugstore which fortunately sells a couple of brands I can wear without breaking out into hives (have had this happen a few times).

We took a trip to the drugstore, then the mall, ate lunch and were back to get dressed and be at the church on time for family photos. This is a big deal, since at our wedding, Dahey's family members got lost on the way to church. We couldn't find them so everyone panicked.

"I'm the bride," I told them. "I can be late. Just wait for them to get here." Fortunately, they did (and we were only about 5 minutes late).

The ceremony was lovely, but I'm sure the rector will bolt the doors the next time he sees Dahey's family coming. Within five minutes of assembling for pictures, something glass (no idea what it was) got broken. Out comes the wedding coordinator with the broom to sweep it up.

Next, since the kids (there were plenty of them) got bored really easily (as evidenced by Bubba's rolled eyes in more than a few pictures...) the Wild Girls (Military Brother's kids) decided to play run up and down the choir loft steps. They had lots of fun, until the rector saw them and asked them to stop.

Bubba wanted to follow on the stairs until I persuaded him not to by saying, "You always want to listen to the minister of the church, even if you don't belong. It is disrespectful if you don't." Bubba marched back, sat down, and Military Brother went into the choir loft to fetch his wild child who was happily ensconced right next to the organist. She eventually came down to sit with us.

Finally, we went back to our hotel, so Dahey and Bubba checked out the swimming pool. (He gets really mad if he doesn't get to swim). We went to Deity Brother's suite and started our party before the reception. Grandma Susie brought cookies from home. OMG! I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven.  They were the best.

Deity Brother made us all toast in the suite with a shot of apple flavored moonshine. My a&hole brother-in-law, the typical sailor comments, "It's like urine with an apple flavor". I downed mine fast and thought it was more like apple cider with a kick.

The reception was fun. No one broke anything and none of the sorority girls brawled or acted silly like at the bachelorette party. The kids had their own table, a coloring table AND a table full of candies and sweets to take along after the reception.

Bubba tired out early but so did we. I was glad when the wild weekend was over!

Stay tuned...mere days before the excitement of a lifetime: comp exams.

Temptation, frustration...

Temptation: for me lately, it's food. Everything is temptation when you're on a diet. I hope the dress I want to wear this weekend fits (it was a little dicey a while ago.) I am just too stressed with family and work right now.

Frustration: Knowing upper management is "clueless". Yes, maybe you will understand why your satisfaction scores are in the toilet, if we explain it to you one more lousy time. Or we'll continue to vote with our feet.

Graduate adviser sending you an e-mail that you need to rework your stuff. After you send and ask for feedback two weeks ago. Then you find out he/she's been answering folks in your group before you in the line. Nice.

Off to bed...maybe a little more sleep might help. Stay tuned...

Sometimes you're the windshield...

And sometimes, you're the bug, as the song says. Nevertheless, it's Friday and I survived.

It was a busy week punctuated by technical difficulties, rascally coworkers, and stressed out providers who bark orders at you, then apologize later (after you've got a nice case of indigestion).

That was just my side of the house in the beauty of the old, untouched, 70s era Hotel. The new, renovated part of the Hotel is shiny, and the infection control nurse is worried about me. "If you don't have a sink in there where you see patients, what are you going to do?"

Turns out I do have a sink, since I use a clinic room that has one. Problem averted. He/she makes me nervous since one of the therapists tried putting the popcorn machine used by the volunteer group in my clinic room. "No dice." I told the therapist. "We have to move it or it will be confiscated." Thankfully, we found a couple of legal spots for the machine in the renovated Hotel section down the hall. Yes, we'll have to walk, but it has its own spot ensconced next to the nutrition refrigerator.

There was sadness, too. One of our very sick patients got back home and died the other day. He was a sort I wasn't sure would get out of the Hotel. He was elderly and got sick while he was over for his annual check-up. He just bounced back and forth for a while. I was happy to see he was up and motoring around with his wife, who became a minor celebrity on the unit when she was featured in a newspaper story about our town before he left us. They never did hold that "autograph session" I was always teasing them about in the lobby, since we have a paper box nearby.

Godspeed Mr. V.  You fought the good fight. We'll miss you and your "famous" wife, too.

Just what I always wanted!

What would you think if you got this e-mail...(a recent e-mail subject line)

Dermatitis for the iPad

Somehow, I don't think an antivirus would remove that. Yuck!

Back to reading for me...

My plan

Is to stay here under ground watching TV with Bubba and WildDog while we wait for all the crazy, tornadic weather to head on over and out. Dahey is stuck at work where it's been raining like cats and dogs all afternoon.

I can't wait until winter and snow show up again...this storm crap is OLD!!

I'm so glad I'm not at the Hotel. Evacuating patients is worse than having a herd of 10 year old kvetching about not having a fully charged Nintendo DS (or other gaming device.)

Back to the pacing dog...

Children and homework

Nothing like the 11th hour to get everything done before the end of the grading period.

Dahey thought he had Bubba reading everything he needed, and alas, Bubba has failed all his reading tests.

FML for me...ugh!

Taking a break and getting ready for work tomorrow...

Have to have a goal after grad school hell is over

Mine: learn to play that black bass guitar that's been sitting idle for over a year. This is one of the songs I want to play with a couple of my friends.

Maybe I could start a nurse version of the Rock Bottom Remainders....hmmm.

Totally TGIF

Maybe it's something in the air, or some thing about the winds of change, or the coming weekend that makes people edgy.

I wanted to strangle the group that made an appointment with some of our folks at one time and told me another (at a later date). Not going to work, kids. If you leave me out of the discussion, I will not get what you need.

Sometimes, you just see things you don't want to see...

Driving from Washington for a meeting, I see a person who looks vaguely familiar. He's one of our customers and he's surrounded. Turns out an ambulance turns the corner and picks him up.

So I go back to work and ask Madge, our NP, "Have you gotten any calls on Mr. X?"

"No. Why?" she asks.

"I saw some guy getting picked up by an ambulance near Washington that vaguely resembled him."

I leave and come back. Madge gets a call.

Yes, indeed. It was Mr. X. He was diverted since Washington's ER could not take him.

Happy, happy Friday to me.

Only 42 days

And I feel like I'm still scrambling, running, trying to get everything done. They're not really as big as these, but still stress-inducing.

I just hope I know everything when I need to know it...or can make them think I do!

Stay tuned...

Things that make you go hmmm...

One word: lawsuit.

Not because you didn't do something, but because someone can. Nice. At least that's what someone in the know told me. Legal will just have a blast with this one.

But there was an upside today: I got both my flu shot AND my annual TB test.

I just wish I would have gotten a SpongeBob bandaid!

Stay tuned for more excitement...

Children are so much fun..

When they are asleep and not getting into trouble.

Bubba is a character. He decided he had "sore teeth" and when I looked in his mouth I saw he had horrible stains that looked as if his teeth were decaying. Photos of Mountain Dew mouth nightmares were going through my head.

Alas, his problem wasn't related to soda, but Bubba has learned that he needs to take better care of his teeth.

We got some Oragel and Bubba got some one-on-one instruction on how to properly brush his teeth with a new soft toothbrush...yet again.

More later...

Public confession

As a disciple of Juan Valdez (aka the I love coffee club), I will never ever be going on this blasphemous diet.

Not only do you have to give up coffee but every other thing that goes with it (or that might remotely taste good, except mushrooms).

So all you SU patients who tell me your gonna take this stuff for your bowels/feel better/reduce inflammation, you're on your own.

I'm not trying that either. I'll be very happy here with my friend Joe (as in Java Joe...)

More later...

Wild Friday

Yes, I'm so, so glad this week is over. My Friday was really, really weird and probably just the culmination of an extraordinary week.

Besides all the brouhaha of the new digs opening, one of our nurses, who works the home health side had to call an ambulance for herself from a patient's home this week. We still don't know what happened to her.

The boss's boss came over to inspect again. S/he's just so friendly--only talks to the people she wants to. I've given up doing anything but speaking when spoken to. Why bother when s/he doesn't acknowledge you anyway?

And on top of this, my sibling who was coming to town got delayed and so did our hospitalized relative who was supposed to be discharging this week. Logistical nightmare trying to get him/her home caused a problem that could not be resolved until Monday. I personally don't believe it was all logistics, but then again, just call me a cynic.

I know a long weekend when I see one, so I'm taking one, myself.

Stay tuned...it should be a fun weekend.

On the cusp

Drugs are not always necessary.  Belief in recovery always is.  ~Norman Cousins
 
New beginnings: the Hotel got some much needed rehabbing and the occupants (staff and patients) are overjoyed. Nothing like new stuff to make people happy. The SU got some upgrades and will get more as the remodeling goes on down the way.

The end of the odyssey: my sick relative is finally going home after a trip through one hospital (twice) and one nursing home. Problems can indeed by solved eventually if you have a nervy nurse who just keeps asking questions. (The nervy nurse would be me.)

The beginning of the end of the great grad school journey: I have my date at PublicU for my exams, now all I have to do is work on my paper and my slide show and I'll be done. Hard to believe I will be done in less than two months.

Back to work....more to come.

Sunday night special

Oh, I can't wait until Monday. Dr. RPIA, one of the specialists I work with in the SU called Friday and left a message on my personal cell phone. Yes, I do actually have a phone in my office with voice mail, but I'm sure his/her ADD kicked in and he/she wanted a response immediately.
 
I'm sure s/he'll have a temper tantrum since someone in his clinic double booked him/her.

Hello not my problem, Doc. You can go to Helen Waite, our complaint specialist. Or sing the song below...




Heaven knows we can wait for another specialist like you to show up, since the last one lost his visa last month. Or we can make your chief start taking patients again.

Stay tuned...

One of those moments

I had to chuckle when I read this article about a woman buying a box for $50 with a Renoir painting in it.

Guess she just had to check since it said "Renoir" right there on the front.

Pinching self...

One of the "dinosaurs" (as they call themselves in this specialty) saw my work from this summer's conference and sent me a reply in an e-mail recently where he/she said it was "exceptional". From the source, that IS a major compliment. It really made my day.

Wow.

Now back to reality...finished some yardwork that got derailed by hurricane remnants last week, went shopping and now getting ready to go out to a coworker's shindig to celebrate the end of summer (that got cancelled because of the rain, too.)

Back to the old grind soon enough...

Thank you Grumpy

I'd like to take this to work and put it on my door.

Please try to keep in mind that medicine is a team sport. When you view other doctors (or nurses, or whatever) as the opposition, the only person who really loses is the patient.

You can read more of this Grumpy post on his blog.

I love it...

When people in your online class actually pay attention. Thank you ladies for taking time to go to our meeting at the very last minute.

Helps me feel less overwhelmed by everything! Especially since my comps date is now looming over there ==> in the sidebar...

Stay tuned...

I need one of these at work

For the characters who keep falling all over the place...

Relax...

I'm trying anyway, since I'm going to get grilled (have my oral exams) in less than two months.

So I'm figured I might as well start taking up yoga in small increments.

Otherwise, I'm escaping to the 1980s to relax with Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Back to the old grind at the Hotel tomorrow...

Buried

My last semester of grad school started. I am already swamped and the remains of Hurricane Isaac have not even dropped much rain here in RehabLand yet.

Looks like I'll be hunkered down until at least early November...ugh!

Stay tuned

Boarding

While I was waiting with a relative in the ER recently, I learned about this term. He/she was lucky enough to get a room with a door and some privacy. The others in the ER were in the hallway on stretchers.

He/she needed some help, so I stuck around and provided it. I don't bug staff, especially, when this was a level one trauma center and they were calling out the incoming customers with much frequency. After that, it was noisy, since there's some construction on the edge of the unit. The sounds of drills were right outside his/her room in the morning.

I was so happy when he/she got a bed. We just missed being there 24 hours.

It's hard to believe...

But in somewhere around 100 days, the journey will be over. Yes, in that span of days, I hope to complete the final requirements for graduation for a Master's of Science in Nursing.

So how did I celebrate this last day of freedom before the final semester? I ate too many donuts and drank the rest of the wine I opened last night.

And, just because, I started back at the library (in my jammies, of course) and got a few of the articles the librarians suggested I add to my lit review this summer.

I'm ready, kids. Bring it on...I'll suffer whatever I have to for 100 days, 'cause then I'll have what I've been working years for.

And I will definitely appreciate it!

More later...

Sunday silliness

I love old Bill Cosby.

He really had fun with his brother in this skit.


Sister Brunhilda Whatsername actually had us listen to the Noah's Ark skit in religion class.

My "no I don't have problems" moment today

After I read this article about a botched operation, I realized that no, I really haven't had any problems at work.

At least nothing of this magnitude.

Here's one for the nursing/medical/contingency planning books.

Back to the weekend...enjoy yours wherever you are!

Puttering suits me...

So glad it's the weekend, and a long one for me. All the chores I don't cram in today, will work get worked in somewhere later.

WildDog is reveling in the ecstacy of his favorite rug's return to the house. (after the annual trip to the carpet cleaner for cleaning, deodorizing and dogproofing.) Right now, he's passed out on it.  WildDog is from a rescue program and he is domestic to a certain point, but he absolutely will not sleep on a dog bed. He was looking a little forlorn lately, so I was happy when the company called to ask me to pick it up.

Since there was a special on rug cleaning, I took the substitute rugs to the cleaners today, so he's happy again.

Dahey is reading an article I'm writing for a publication (related to an industry conference). He's my favorite copy editor. Cross your fingers that I get selected.

Now to vegetate for a bit while the laundry chugs away in the laundry room...

Stay tuned.

TGIF!

Yes, I'm glad it's Friday. The heat and stormy weather may be back, but the weekend is here.

Hooray!

Stay tuned...who knows what fun Bubba will find this weekend.

There's no DISLIKE button

On Facebook, and there's not a HATE button, either.

I'd really like one today...the whole freaking place is a mess. One thing after another. So glad it's two long weekends in a row for me.

Stay tuned...

It could have been worse...

I could have had a whole lot of meetings today. Two big ones were cancelled, so I HAD to do my required education at my desk and close the door to keep the rabble out all afternoon

But, never fear, friends, I still had lots of other entertainment at the meetings I did attend.

I got to hear about Dr. R's trip to the Big Ditch and the ride on the mule. In some spots, you can't see the bottom. Good thing for that sure footed creature!

We got to discuss our patients in our weekly meeting (that's what rehab centers have to do on a regular basis). I got to discuss my interventions from my office to keep some patients out of trouble. (Always fun.)
I couldn't do anything about the character offering to "help" another patient with his stash of marijuana.
No matter what we do, some of these folks just don't get it that we are not in a state that allows Mary Jane for medicinal purposes (keep driving west, please!)

And for a finale to my day, I heard rain outside my window. It was only S, the rec therapist with the patients watering the garden below. Everything was fine and dandy, and S. went back to her office and brought patients inside. Well, we thought they all came in...Mr. G., a particular character decided he was going to move the sprinkler. When he did that and started rolling in the front door, he started dragging the hose inside underneath his electric wheelchair.

A man in the lobby saw Mr. G. coming in and helped him get the hose out from under the chair, just as he was dragging the sprinkler inside. Thankfully, only Mr. G. got wet. A Good Samaritan turned off the hose, so Mr. G. wouldn't flood the whole front entrance.

All in all, it was a pretty good day. One (or even two) less meetings in life is a very good thing.

More later...

Yes, I had a Monday

Power outage, rascally equipment, surly coworkers, you name it. It was a Monday.

But I'll also probably have one of those Tuesdays (meeting day from Hell-back to back for four hours), Wednesday (hump day) and Thursday (madhouse clinic day).
.
I am so glad the folks at the BBC could find researchers willing to solve this terrible problem of Mondays, by saying it's not just Mondays.

Still makes me want to go buy a winning lottery ticket and/or look for some other random financial windfall so I can stay home when I don't want to work.

Stay tuned.

Acoustic Sunday

Heard this while driving around this morning on a local radio show which plays acoustic versions of various songs.

Weekend madness

You know your weekend is going to be interesting when...

Friday afternoon you take time to attend a sick relative's consult appointment which is only 30 minutes. Talk to MD and he orders lots of labs (most of which he/she actually needs)...but the phlebotomy people in their office are gone for the day. Go to the outpatient center. Find out they close at 5PM. Then walk completely around the hospital campus to main registration, then to the main lab. Wait for nearly an hour while they call the Mayo Clinic to figure out which tube they want the oddball lab to go into. Finally, help phlebotomist get lab drawn after two sticks (not her fault...just thick blood and 8 tubes to fill). Elapsed time: nearly 4 hours, including the traffic jam on the way home.

Today, wake up and favorite coffee maker breaks. It's 13 months old and has a 1 year warranty. Make coffee in backup pot (hallelujah!). Eat breakfast.

Child is sitting with geriatric dog in living room and screams. GD had accident. Hustle him outside to complete the task. Child runs outside to get away from smell and vomit in bushes. Clean up dog poop and deodorize.

Finally, get in the shower and enjoy the water running over your head. Meditating under the shower head is very, very nice after a wild morning.

Now I'll just cross my fingers that Dahey can hold down the fort while I go run errands...stay tuned!

On your last day

Of summer vacation, you could just veg out and play your video games all day.

Nope. Bubba hung out with Dahey and had a grand old time. First, the daring duo headed to Ye Old Pancake House, where Bubba did a number on a Two of Everything platter (2 eggs, 2 sausage, 2 bacon, 2 pancakes) and helped Dahey eat about 1/2 of his waffles.

Next, after that big meal, Bubba and Dahey headed to the links at the driving range/golf course. Nothing like hitting a bucket of balls with Dad, then using him as your caddy on nine holes. Dahey says at least Bubba's not putting with his shoe like Granddad who often cheated, I mean "shoe putted". This was one of the first things I learned about my father-in-law when I got married from his brother.

Then Bubba and Dahey went to lunch. (yes, after all of that!) I called at actual lunch time (about 1130ish) and told them I was ready to leave the Hotel after my training in the morning. I came home, took them to one of my favorite lunch places where Bubba decided he needed to eat half of my bag of potato chips and part of Dahey's brownie.

I took them home after lunch and went back to work. The boys vegged the rest of the afternoon and played baseball after Bubba had dinner.

"I had a lot of fun with Dad, Mom." Bubba said. And both of them looked content.

So it really was a great way to spend the last day of summer vacation: dad bonding with lad.

Ways to lose your license in RehabLand

Yet, another version of MiddleOfNowhere SBON Newsletter appeared in my mailbox recently and it has the most interesting revocation notices in  it. Sadly, most of the infractions noted are due to drug diversion or alcohol abuse. Once you have substance issues and get caught, you have report to monitoring agencies in order to complete probation and get your license back.

Some things, though, are downright scary. You can lose your license if you do the following:

1. Threaten bodily harm. To other staff members, to patients, to visitors. Probably the worst threat overheard and recorded: "Oh, don't worry about X (an obese patient) for evacuation. He/she will just have to die if there's a fire, since we won't be able to get the bed out of the room."

2. Prescribe drugs for your family, that your license does not allow.

3. Forget to tell the Board about that conviction you had several years ago for drug dealing and embezzlement. No, kids, you didn't just forget...

4. Get a facility handbook from your hospital system that says, "no loafing" After that, proceed to sleep on the job and get caught not documenting on your seven patients on multiple occasions.

And finally, if those weren't scary enough:
Work as the only licensed nurse at an assisted living facility, when you're listed as a resident AND you're disabled enough to have your own guardian, who thinks you're just filing records all day in the office.

There is a God in Heaven...

At least for me...the planets have aligned and I've been given what I'm due. The scholarship program I was enrolled in (and thought I'd lost when I went to the SU) has to be given to me. Program director told me recently, "You earned it, they (meaning Human--aka Useless--Resources) haven't changed anything for you so I have to give it to you."

The psycho woman can't take that away from me if she tries. Relief! Yes, it was indeed a Happy Monday!

Stay tuned.

Lookin' for the bright side...

Of this blasted migraine. Where is Eric Idle when you need him?

I'm ready

To jump/Don't look back now, baby.

There's only so much you can learn in one place.

Can you tell I have senioritis? And the last semester hasn't even started yet!


Back to grooving away until the last classes start at the end of the month.

Weekend delights

Child who stays up late wakes up early...at 0500.

Why? There's a leak in his room from the dehumidifier he noticed when he got out of bed.

Husband's cell phone has an annoying chirp whenever the battery runs low on power. This started going off before 0500.Trying to hunt it down in the dark was a treat, since it only beeps every 30 seconds.

Dog is now barking, because, don't you know it's 0600 and you people usually feed me by now.

Will be so glad when they leave to go to the driving range so I can go back to sleep...

Childhood memories

One day when Bubba was little, he made a collage from magazine photos. It has all sorts of random stuff on it, so I asked him to explain his artwork.

He carefully pointed to each item and explained every item and its significance to him.

On the last one, he said, "And Momma, that's a coffee cup, because when I see one, I think of you."

Reflections and observations

My reflections aren't going to be nearly as meaningful as these from atyourcervix, but here goes...

They don't say it in so many words, but the bigwigs are rationing access to training and travel at the Hotel. I had the pleasure of meeting with a committee recently set up following one of our illustrious inspections by random credentialing agency.

This committee is now auditing how the travel and training committee allocates funds and is structured. How was it before...let me just say this: we paid for "observation" at a resort in a tropical state. Why? Because one of the cyclical meetings that goes around the country was coming to the Hotel and this committee member needed to "observe" how the proceedings were held before we had them in our backyard.

I'm sure the observation was via chaise lounge with a mai tai...or could have been a whiskey sour. She "observed" a lot, and a few other people, including one of my coworkers, did most of the scut work, like running the planning committee, registration and volunteer section when the meeting came to the Hotel.

Now, as a result of the uproar from that "observation" (which the psych nurses say should have occurred in restraints) is that ANY training out of town has to be vetted for necessity, etc.

If you're new in your job and can get out of town training, you'll only be sent if your a manager level staffer.

The peons (who run the ship BTW) like me will just have to fend for ourselves.

Nice! How many more years am I stuck here since I took that puny sign on bonus to pay student loans? Can't wait until the chains are loosened.

Complaint department

I'm near a busy spot in the Hotel, not far from the lobby, so I hear a lot of the comings and goings among the staff, patients and visitors. Here are a few of the more memorable ones.

The employees complain about complaint procedures. Fill out this form in this many days and wait.

The patients complain about the food. While our food wasn't quite as scary looking as this, the dietitian tries. You just never know what that kitchen staff will do.

The visitors complain about the parking, the signs, the lack of wheelchairs in the lobby. One of our housekeepers remarked that he heard patients took our wheelchairs home. "Of course," I said, "Do you know that's why they don't have those folding wheelchairs at Saintarama and other big hospitals."

Tomorrow, I'm getting a sign like this. I'm sure someone will complain.

Monday madness, part 107

Oh, I love Mondays, when they go quickly without incident. When does that happen, you ask? Maybe once or twice a month, if I'm lucky.

Today just was classic.

1. You're waiting for two patients to show up. One shows up for clinic. One doesn't show.  The four calls you made to his/her nursing home to get him/her to the appointment were a waste. I really love transportation companies when they screw up!

2. The crazy specialist you have to work with forgets how to code his encounters. The coding staff are off today. He/she decides to do something crazy and puts his notes in incorrectly. Nice...

3. You forget your lunch at home...in the fridge. All the while, as you wait for Dr. Crazy, you're dreaming about lunch.

Despite the weirdness that appeared, disappeared and reappeared, things did get better.

1. I escaped! Out of the building! For my ENTIRE lunch time. Hallelujah!

2. Since all the patients were done for the day, I drove down the road to my favorite coffee place and got a pound to take home and a drink. I was running late so a lady waiting for another store gave me her place in line. I thanked her profusely and gave her my coupon for a super cheap drink while she waited.

3. I finished the day, slowly, surely and very nicely. And away I went...

Stay tuned...

Virtually cool stuff

Every day, there's something interesting to read about. Efforts to help our troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan makes sense for many reasons.

There are even games that can make a difference when we take care of patients by reducing pain when drugs can't.

We live in an interesting time and I love it!

Stay tuned for more goodies...

Flashbacks to the last conference tonight when Bubba played this

Now, just imagine a hundred or so nurses, young and old, hamming it up in a stuffed shirt old money style ballroom.

Ah, memories! Cheers boys and girls!

Turning the tables...

Usually, I have lots of stories, so I decided to turn the tables and tell you all about some of the stories I've heard on the unit from people passing through the Hotel.

I don't check for veracity, but I do enjoy a good story, true or not. And no, I'm not going to tell you about the stuff they tell us to get drugs. (The ER nurses like my classmate Q. get a new one of those every day.)

Police stories:

Dim bulb

In some professions, people developed a heightened sense of awareness of things. Police officers are trained to be highly alert, but some of the scenarios Good Cop (he called himself that when he roomed with another former cop--Bad Cop) told me about were just crazy.

GC was out on patrol one night and noticed a guy had his license plate light out (an infraction that would win a ticket in his town). Once GC got to the window and took the guy's license he said, "I didn't do it."

GC said something about the way he said that wasn't right. He asked again, and the guy says the same thing and "I didn't rob that liquor store."

GC asks Mr. Chatty to step out of the car. GC proceeds to cuff and stuff him. Before he knew it, the call came out on the radio about the robbery. GC calls his coworker back and asks him if he wants him to bring Mr. Chatty back by the liquor store (about 4 blocks away). Coworker says "come on over." Meanwhile, Mr. Chatty keeps talking...

Mr. Chatty is identified as the perpetrator by the store owner, and off he went to the police station and booking.

Get it straight

GC pulls over a man for speeding. Mr. Lam is apologetic and GC says, "I almost let him go. Just seemed like a really nice guy."

But Mr. Lam was not a nice guy. He was a fugitive wanted on federal warrants for murder. The warrants were 16 years old.

So how did GC figure out Mr. Lam wasn't who he said  he was? Well, if you give a bogus drivers' license to a police officer, make sure you sign the same name that's on the drivers' license you give to the officer. If you sign your real name (not your alias), someone, like GC, might figure you out.